Paying Attention To Strangers Brings Big Surprises

LORRAINE V. MURRAY, Special Contributor

Published: July 21, 2005

I am sitting at my desk near the library’s back door when I notice a hat on the floor. Evidently one of the many theology students rushing to class dropped it.

I notice that it is a fine hat, made of wool and clearly hand-knit, so I trust its owner will return shortly. If not, I remind myself, there is always the lost-and-found box upstairs.

About an hour later, a woman shows up at the desk, looking frazzled. She is wearing what appears to be a hand-knit shawl over her sweater and jeans, and when she spots the hat, her eyes light up.

“Oh, I’m so relieved,” she says, sweeping the hat into her hands gratefully.

I smile and reply, “Well, I figured it was special, since it looks handmade.”

“It is,” exclaims the woman, “and it was made by my friend who has her own sheep and spins her own wool. Since I raise goats and make cheese, we often do trades.”

Now we are off and running.

She tells me she has just started theology school and lives on a farm about an hour away. Before long, I am asking how many goats she has and what she might do with her farm once she graduates.

I tell her about my husband raising bees in our Decatur backyard, and she tells me about a nearby organic produce market she launched and mentions we might sell honey there.

A good 15 minutes later, she explains she has to get to class, puts the hat on her head and bustles into the cold afternoon. Before leaving, she says, “Obviously, we’ll have to continue this conversation.”

Later, I can’t help but wonder: How many times do strangers become part of our lives due to some incident that seems to happen purely by chance?

My husband and I met each other due to what many would call a fluke. He was an engineering major at Georgia Tech and wanted to take a philosophy course, but his advisor strongly opposed his studying something so “frivolous.”

I was the lady teaching the course that my husband ended up taking.

If he had followed that professor’s advice, it is highly likely we never would have met. Yet, here we are, over 20 years later, still going strong—and occasionally even discussing philosophical issues!

Many people believe life is a series of chance events, but that framework doesn’t work if you believe there is a God who is in charge of everything.

After all, Jesus told us that not even a sparrow falls without the Father’s knowledge and reminded us that the Father has counted every hair on our heads.

This means God gets involved in the small moments of our lives. And dropping a hat or enrolling in a class are not random events, but instead part of his plan for us.

The incident with the hat reminded me to pay attention.

What if I’d just handed the student her hat without a comment because I hadn’t taken the time to look closely and realize it was handmade? No conversation, I suspect, would have developed.

Too often, we get so wrapped up in our own private worlds that we miss what’s going on around us. As a writer, I spend hours at the computer, while outside the birds are performing a spring sonata and squirrels are doing complicated acrobatic maneuvers in the pine trees.

Many people fret that they can’t “find” God, but have we ever lost Him? After all, Jesus outlined a definite method for encountering God in everyday life (Mt 25:31-46).

He said we meet God in people who are hungry, naked, sick, and in prison—and don’t forget the strangers.

The author of Hebrews went on to suggest that some of the strangers who wander into our lives might actually be angels in disguise. All these years later, it is a bit daunting to realize how often we miss the chance to give strangers a warm welcome.

Hundreds of students pass by my desk at the library each week hurrying to class. Some of them pass by the desk for years and are so engrossed in their concerns they barely stop to say hello.

Often, I have a pot of flowers on the desk. Some students pause to admire them, while others apparently don’t even see them.

I can’t blame the ones who rush by because I do the same thing: So often, I am wrapped up in my own thoughts and when I go to the grocery store, I fail to converse with the pharmacist or cashier.

When my husband and I were on a journey to find a new church community in metro Atlanta and jumping from parish to parish, we were disheartened to realize how often we showed up for Mass and were then largely ignored by folks afterwards.

Again, I can’t point the finger of blame because I have done the same thing. Especially in huge parishes, folks may be hesitant to greet someone they think is a stranger for fear of discovering that the apparent newcomers actually have been parishioners for years.

I have never seen the woman with the woolen cap again. Perhaps God sent her to my desk that day to give me a message. To gently nudge me to start paying attention, especially to the strangers I encounter.

Because, who knows? The next person who loses a hat or gloves near my desk may be no ordinary student on the way to class. She could very well be an angel in disguise.

Lorraine’s latest book “How Shall We Celebrate? Embracing

www.catholicbookpublishing.com. She also is the author of “Why Me? Why Now? Finding Hope When You Have Breast Cancer” and “Grace Notes.” You may email her at lorrainevmurray@yahoo.com.