The Advent Spirit: Waiting For The Christ Child

LORRAINE V. MURRAY, Special Contributor

Published: December 9, 2004

Advent is upon us, and it is a season of waiting, which is a very hard thing to do in a world where time seems to go faster and faster.

We were barely done with Halloween before the Christmas music began, and the malls started decking the halls. So it’s no wonder that by the time the big day arrives, many of us are weary.

Advent is a time to prepare ourselves spiritually to celebrate the enormous miracle that is at the heart of our Catholic faith. Despite the confusion in our society, the event is not Santa scooting down the chimney; it is God coming to earth to walk among us as a human being.

But how can we prepare? We can do extra good works, attend church more regularly, go to confession and fast from our bad habits. We can refrain from celebrating the coming of the Messiah with parties and merry-making before the actual day the church has chosen to mark His birth.

And we can get into the Advent spirit by reflecting on what waiting has meant in our lives.

It seems that waiting has been a constant theme for me. When I was a little girl, I just couldn’t wait until I was old enough for my mom to let me wear make-up.

I longingly watched my older cousins primping before dates and was sure that if I could only put on lipstick, then I too could be pretty.

But my mother didn’t agree, so in desperation, I discovered a compromise: I took red M & M’s, licked them and smoothed them across the lips to create a nice rosy hue. Which worked just fine until my mother noticed.

There were so many other things to long for: going to school “like the big kids,” getting a doll, and then a coveted bike, and, years later, being old enough to get a job, go on dates, and of course, experience that first kiss.

In teenage years, I remember sitting by the phone and willing it to ring. I prayed, pleaded with and begged God: “Oh, please, please, please, let the phone ring and let it be HIM. And, oh, please God, let him invite me to the dance.”

Only when I left the house did the phone finally ring—and if I were fortunate, my mom would answer and take a message. If my dad answered, the fellow on the other end would get the third degree and would have to describe what he wanted to do for a living and what his intentions were in asking me out.

During my wild and wooly college years, waiting for Mr. Wonderful seemed like a constant theme. By graduate school, I started to despair that I would ever get married.

It seemed every guy I got involved with was a commitment-phobic, a Romeo, or a very nice person who just lacked the pizzazz of Prince Charming.

You see, although I saw myself as the ultimate liberated woman, in my heart of hearts, I was still the damsel in the tower waiting to be rescued by the handsome prince.

In my 30s, I found myself living alone in an apartment in Atlanta, teaching at Georgia Tech and still waiting, waiting, waiting for Mr. Wonderful. When I’d nearly given up, I finally met him—and we’ve been together over 22 years, still sharing meals by candlelight.

Waiting all those years for the right mate seemed agonizing at the time; it demanded real patience, just like the Advent season does.

Still, one thing waiting has shown me is this: God has a certain plan in mind for us, and we just can’t rush it.

Although I have never experienced a full-term pregnancy, I can imagine that at first the nine-month stretch must seem like a very long time to wait, but then, as the months zip by, I am sure some women wish they had a little more time…to paint the crib…to get the clothes…to fix up the baby’s room.

Whether we are male or female, we all know the agony of waiting to be called for a job that we desperately want. We know the anguish of sitting by the phone, willing the doctor’s office to call, with a report on ourselves or a loved one.

Waiting is a natural part of the cycle of life. There is no way to hasten the sprouting of a seed, and no way to shorten the time it takes to bake a loaf of bread.

No amount of impatience will make a rose bloom before it is good and ready, and no amount of yearning will get the sun to set even a minute earlier than it is supposed to.

The rhythms of our lives include big celebratory moments: the first berry ripening on a bush, the breathtaking wonder of a sunset at the beach; a shy daffodil poking its head out of the ground at winter’s end.

Advent reminds us that some life-changing moments are worth waiting for. They may be a phone call from a friend, a date for the prom, a wedding proposal or the birth of a very special baby.

Instead of celebrating the baby’s birth before He has been born, Advent asks us to hold back and have faith that the big moment will arrive.

Advent reminds us to ready ourselves spiritually, so that when we finally do peek into the manger, we can truly embrace the One who is waiting there for us.

Lorraine Murray also writes a column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution and is the author of two books: “Why Me? Why Now?” a spiritual guide for women with cancer, and “Grace Notes,” a collection of autobiographical essays. E-mail: lorrainevmurray@yahoo.com.