Lonely In Faith, Newcomer Finds Home

ANTHONY TUAN LE, Special Contributor

Published: September 9, 2004

Before I left my native land, my pastor said to me, “Upon arrival to the new land, son, you will be alone in your faith. You will no longer hear the church bell every early morning or late afternoons, and nobody will urge or call for you to go to Mass any more. There will be no religious processions. You will be there alone, and no matter what happens, hold firm to your faith!”

At that time, I did not quite understand what my pastor meant. I left my youth and beautiful memories of where I came from, and I came to South Carolina to build a new life.

At first, I did not experience many difficulties like other political refugees or new immigrants. However, my faith seemed to be lost. While I was struggling and integrating myself to a society in which secularism, materialism, sex and violence, crimes and drugs, and vague values penetrated deep down to family structures and individuals, my faith started stumbling and shaking. It was not because I let myself be absorbed by those bad influences but because I was alone in my Catholic faith.

Every corner I went, every place I visited throughout South Carolina, I found nothing but Baptist, Episcopal, Presbyterian and nondenominational churches. A “non-Catholic” attitude seemed to dominate the state.

Catholic churches in South Carolina are few, and at some of those Catholic churches, I found no statues of Mary and no eucharistic adoration at all. The sanctuary design and the church architecture as a whole are completely and radically changed and very different compared with the traditional churches where I came from. The priests also seemed very distant. Only one or two Sunday Masses are celebrated every week, and there was no room for young professional, single adults like me to get involved. If I was stuck with a busy working schedule or unexpected job at the last minute, I would miss Sunday Mass without any alternative, and thus I committed a sin.

More importantly, the love and respect for Mary, our Virgin Mother, was somehow ignored or disregarded by these Catholic churches I attended in South Carolina. So the longer I stayed, the more my love and veneration for Mary disappeared.

I was very sad, hopeless and alone in my faith. At some point, church became the place where members came to show off their fashions and wealth or to chitchat. My personal prayers and intentions were usually disrupted and distracted.

I lost my Catholic identity right in my local Catholic parish for the first time.

I got my first job as a computer engineer for a local and respected firm. My first month with that new job went smoothly. However, trouble started stirring up in the following months. One day, my supervisor asked me what my religion was. I told him with pride and without hesitation, “I am a Catholic.” I saw and still remember how his face and attitude suddenly turned out when hearing my repeated answer, “I am a Catholic.” I started having a lot of problems, and I thought maybe this would be the best chance for me to show my talent and prove to him how Catholics would survive and do things. I then quickly found out I was the minority in all aspects.

No matter how I tried to overcome and forget problem after problem, challenge after challenge, and temptation after temptation, followed by monetary offers and lucrative promises, nothing could change my faith. I was thankful because of my pastor and my mother, who had sowed deep roots in my childhood faith. However, at this point, my faith was on the edge. My working days started with a Baptist sermon; my e-mail address was bombarded with anti-Catholic messages; my home phone received thousands of appealing messages and invitations; and it was bad enough that at my house, I was sent tons of videos, sermons and music tapes of the Baptist ministers without knowing where those came from and how they got my name, phone number and mailing address. Of course, I could have brought a lawsuit to earn big bucks and knock this firm down very easily. But I did not.

The Baptist people wanted to convert my lonely Catholic faith. At this time, I remembered and understood thoroughly what my pastor meant when he held my arms and gave me his wisdom and advice. I was really alone with my struggles and fights.

I lost my Catholic identity for the second time.

The Sept. 11 tragedy happened, and a year later I was activated and sent to war. Never in a combat situation before, I had to lead my troops with a lot of fears and worries. However, as days went by, still alone in my faith, I kept going, and God covered my back. I was alone with God in my faith without any guidance or spiritual advice. I was really thirsty for that advice and always longed for the Catholic support and advice from a real Catholic community with a burning love and respect for Mary and the Eucharist.

God blessed me, and upon my return from the war, I got a job and relocated to Atlanta earlier this year. Lucky for me, the pastors at St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Smyrna and Our Lady of Vietnam Church in Riverdale have been humble and kind in welcoming me, a stranger from a different “planet.” I had thought my Catholic identity would get lost for the third time when I moved to Atlanta.

I had heard about the Eucharistic Congress from people at both of these churches, and I decided to attend. To my great surprise and beyond my expectations, I was very attracted to what I heard and learned from the Congress. The Congress had so many holy and well-known speakers in the Catholic Church. I went to all events dedicated to the teenagers (even though I am not that young), the Hispanic track, the Vietnamese track and general tracks. The Saturday event really struck my heart and mind deeply. My tears, for the first time in so many years, fell as Bishop Sam Jacobs offered the holy Eucharist. My mind and heart warmed up again. It seemed like my childhood faith was revived. Yes, it was, thank God!

My lonely journey in my faith is now gone for good. I can feel the Holy Spirit moving in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

It is amazing to know now that I can find a Catholic church in every corner I go in this big and sometimes lost city of Atlanta. The priests, the churches and Catholic people here in the archdiocese are very welcoming and supportive. I thought forever I would be a guest, a stranger or a newcomer in this great state like I was in South Carolina for the past five years, but that fear is gone.

My childhood and fervent faith, once lost, is now revived. Now I can rest assured, knowing that my social life in this big city of Atlanta may be lost someday, but my spiritual and faith life will never be, as this archbishop (whom I met only over the big screen at the Congress), his priests and flock will back me up, which greatly comforts and encourages me on my path to become God’s instrument in this sinful and tempting world. I am no longer alone on any battlefield that I will encounter!

May God bless the entire Archdiocese of Atlanta and its great and holy priests, deacons and lay people. May He bless your hearts forever. Thank you for welcoming me home.

Anthony Tuan Le lives in Smyrna and attends St. Thomas the Apostle Church.