Print Issue: October 31, 2002

Rolling Away The Stone Of Depression By Father Gene Barrette, MS, Commentary

October, as well as being Respect Life Month, is also dedicated to raising people's awareness of mental and emotional illness. In the last few years, most leading magazines have had many articles dealing with depression. Time recently had a cover article on teen depression. Earlier this year The Atlanta Journal Constitution published an article titled, "Riches, power no guard against depression," detailing the experience of depression of J.B. Fuqua, industrialist, philanthropist and statesman of Atlanta, and Tom Johnson, an executive at CNN. Reading that article caused me to revisit a dramatic time in my own life and to write the following reflections. I want to share them with the readers of The Georgia Bulletin in the hope that it may be a source of encouragement to others who live with depression.

I am a 62-year-old Roman Catholic priest, ordained 35 years. In 1982, at the age of 42, I was elected for a six-year term as superior general, in worldly terms, the CEO, of an international religious congregation of priests and brothers, the Missionaries of La Salette. Our headquarters are in Rome, Italy. We serve several parishes here in the Archdiocese of Atlanta.

Throughout the years I had suffered from bouts of depression, but while serving my term as superior general the depressions became paralyzing. In 1985 I sought help at a treatment center for priests and religious. After a stay of several months, I returned to my position in Rome and wrote a letter to the more than 1,000 members of the congregation explaining and describing what had happened. A couple of priests in leadership positions in our European community strongly advised me against doing this. They said sharing such a personal part of my story was not appropriate for the "role/position/ image" that I had. They warned that the disclosure would destroy the possibility of my being able to effectively exercise any kind of authority. Thanks be to God, I did not take their advice. I also sent this letter to family and friends. One friend worked for E.F. Hutton and his response stunned me. He called to say that such a letter would be suicide in the business world.

The response to the letter from my congregation clearly showed me that the business world and my religious community were different worlds. Many told me the sharing of my experience was the best gift, ministry or service that I had ever given them. They said it gave them permission to seek help when they needed it and not live in denial or play all kinds of games, living with secrets that would only exacerbate their problems. They felt it put flesh on the Gospel dictum that the "truth will set you free" (Jn 8:32).

I feared depression was going to destroy me and my capacity to continue to respond to God's call to minister to his people. But with therapy and the help of medication, joined to prayer, this experience transformed me into a conscious "wounded healer" through whom God seems to work with much power in my pastoral care of the people.

In my world of "God's business," I have been blessed with the powerful experience of seeing my "dark nights of the soul," "desert experiences" and "Good Fridays" of depression transformed into "days with dawn rejoicing," "places with delightful streams" and "Easters," rolling away the stone of my tomb days, and bursting forth again and again with new life and new beginnings. Today, there is no need to remain chained to the pain, fear and despair of depression. Help and healing are available. It is so tragic to see people resist getting help and allow their lives to be progressively destroyed by this illness. God's creative, curative power is available through advances made in medication and the treatment of this disease. To continue to say "no" to help is to slap away God's hand stretched out to rescue us.

More of us, whether sitting in places and professions of high visibility or living and working shoulder to shoulder with the more ordinary men and women of today, must not be afraid to share our stories of walking in the valleys of darkness and death, emerging from that wasteland. Our stories can help others to realize that they do not walk alone and that they can seek and find the help they need to come once again to the place of light and life.

Father Barrette, MS, is a priest at St. Thomas the Apostle Church, Smyrna. He welcomes discussion about depression. You can e-mail him at EGBarrette@aol.com.