Print Issue: August 1, 2002

Walking Together, Two Women Grow In Faith

Cathy Weaver Biscan, left, writes of her spiritual friendship with Marian Monahan, right, her spiritual director and a graduate of the RUAH formation program for spiritual direction.

By Cathy Weaver Biscan, Special To The Bulletin

ATLANTA - Being a mother of two young children can be very lonely at times. Without realizing it, I isolate myself from friends and family, caught up in the busyness of being a full-time mom.

Seven years ago, when my firstborn was a year and a half old, I felt God calling me back into ministry outside the home. I had previously spent four years as a youth minister; my ministry was my life, and it consumed most of my waking hours. Then, as a full-time youth minister at St. Benedict Church in Duluth, I found myself in a constant struggle to balance my faith life, family and career.

I met Marian Monahan while working with her on a healing service I was planning for the youth. Right away I was drawn to her strong faith and self-confidence. I asked her to be my spiritual director.

We have been meeting on a regular basis ever since. She has journeyed with me through my battle with depression, leaving my ministry with youth, my second pregnancy, hearing God's call and learning to wait-the peaks and valleys of being a Christian.

It reminds me of the Blessed Mother when the angel Gabriel came to her and announced her calling: that she was chosen to be the mother of God. Mary did say yes, but not without fear and confusion. So what did she do? Right away, she left for the hill country to visit her older cousin, Elizabeth.

"And it came about that when Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. And she cried out with a loud voice, 'Blessed among women are you, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!'" (Lk 1:41-42) Through her words, Elizabeth confirmed what God had called Mary to do.

And today that is what Marian does for me: confirmation of what God is calling me to do. As I pray, live out my vocation as wife and mother, and try to listen to God, I am not always sure of what He is asking me to do. So, I seek "wise counsel," someone who has been there, and can tell me if I am on the right track.

Mary was also given affirmation by Elizabeth of who she was. "Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord," Elizabeth told Mary. She affirmed her calling as the one chosen to be God's handmaiden, who would carry His Son.

As I have struggled with self-esteem, asking myself the very same question Mary did - "Who am I?" - Marian has affirmed me in being a woman of God, a daughter of the King who loves me no matter what I do or don't do, but simply because I am.

Scripture tells us that Mary stayed with Elizabeth for three months before returning to her home. I imagine that during that time, the two women laughed together, traded stories, advice on being pregnant, and stayed up many a night burning the lamp, reading and discussing Scripture. Elizabeth clarified God's word for Mary, and I'm sure Mary did the same for her cousin since they both had the Spirit of the Lord within them to interpret God's word. Thus, another role of a spiritual director is clarification of Scripture and Catholic doctrine.

Marian has such a hunger to learn about God and His church. She had been feeling called for a few years to spiritual direction before she enrolled in the RUAH program, an intensive, two-year training in the art and theology of spiritual direction. She discerned that she should first complete the Loyola extension program, which gave her a broad base of theology and Scripture. She has now completed both, along with finishing her undergraduate degree in religious studies. At present she is the director of faith formation at St. Brendan's Church in Cumming. She also oversees the adult programs, the K-5 program and baptism and marriage preparation.

Her life is an inspiration to me. She has had her share of hardships and is not afraid to admit her shortcomings. The way she deals with life and shares it with me gives me strength. She is a mentor.

Marian and I have taken trail walks together, discussing "God things" we have learned. Our talks are so stimulating! There is nothing I like talking about more than my faith in the Lord and all that He is teaching me! And sharing this with another who is just as passionate about our Lord is so fulfilling. I leave my times with Marian feeling strengthened, renewed, invigorated and very loved.

In fact, some meetings have been life-changing. I have experienced a transformation in how I see myself and the world. To me, this is the essence of what the Lord is saying to us in Hebrews 10:24 and 25, "and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more, as you see the day drawing near." This is Christian community, this is church; not just Sunday Mass, but also one-on-one intimate relationships with members of the body of Christ.

It is difficult to maintain this type of relationship, however. I could see how Mary, after she had her encounter with the Holy Spirit, could have kept this mystery to herself and gone about her daily life of being a young teenager, doing all the proper things a devout Jewish girl should do, and all the while harboring the fear of rejection and even death. But she reached out and found tremendous support through Elizabeth so that God's will might be fulfilled through her womanhood: salvation for all the world!

Over the years, I have sometimes gone four months without seeing Marian because I was "busy" when, at times, I was really avoiding her because I was struggling and fearing being honest about my sinfulness and self-doubt. And then, when we did meet, I would be met once again with mercy and love and God's gentle heart through Marian's friendship. It is hard work to be Christ's disciple, to be held accountable on a consistent basis. And so it takes sheer perspiration to carve out monthly time for a very important part of me: my soul.

When Mary and Elizabeth met at the door on that blessed day, the Holy Spirit of the almighty God filled the two women who were called to the greatest work of all time; the elder barren one to give birth to the one who would prepare the way to salvation, and the Virgin to give birth to salvation Himself, Jesus Christ. They could not help but "cry out" to the living God in resounding praise for the miracles He had done.

"Blessed are you!" said Elizabeth to His exalted one, and "My soul exalts the Lord!" cried Mary, "and my spirit rejoices in God my savior!"

Times of prayer are precious. With candle lit, hands held, quiet words spoken and the Holy Spirit thick in the air, my heart is joined with Marian's as we meet with our Savior. It takes dedication-a daily commitment to say yes to whatever God tells me to do, to whatever burden He asks me to bear because I know I do not have to bear it alone. I have a companion to walk alongside me every step of the way.