Print Issue: May 23, 2002

Programs, Counseling Are Part Of Healing For Victims Of Child Sexual Abuse

By Priscilla Greear, Staff Writer

ATLANTA - As a therapist, Katie Fortunato knows what it's like to help victims of child sexual abuse overcome their past. She knows that the healing process is both being a survivor who bears the residual burden of violation, but also about becoming a "thriver," and experiencing new life and wholeness.

"There's a real need to not be possessed by the past, not that it ever disappears, (but) to have that not define who that person is in totality. They can be whole," Fortunato said. "That hope for healing and wholeness is really important."

Fortunato, a licensed counselor, counseled victims of child sexual abuse for several years. She has been coordinator since 1999 of the archdiocese's Project Aware child abuse prevention and education program. According to the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence in Seattle, one in four girls and one in five boys will experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18 in this country. Sexual abuse is non-discriminatory in who it affects - race or socioeconomic status are not factors.

The first step she recommends for those who have secretly lived with the shame, guilt and pain of child sexual abuse is professional counseling. "You don't have to handle this alone because many survivors have been trying to deal with it themselves and that is a really difficult and challenging thing. I'd want them to know there are people who will believe in them and listen to them. When you've endured a trauma you have to directly address the trauma itself . . . These symptoms won't just go away," Fortunato said. "Having the opportunity to directly talk about their trauma and integrate it into their life is very important."

Yet some don't come forward and seek help because they have repressed and denied the memories of the abuse as a survival technique, she continued, if they are simply too much to bear in daily life. Victims of clergy abuse are now feeling safer in coming forward, as with the recent media scrutiny of the mishandling of pedophilia priests there is clearly a greater sense that people will believe them. But "it's more normal for children not to tell," as abusers often threaten victims not to tell or say that no one will believe them.

To help protect children, Project Aware's child abuse workshop for catechist certification reviews emotional, behavioral and physical signs of child sexual abuse which those in contact with children should know. Workshops can also be tailored to meet specific parish needs. Signs that could indicate abuse include change in behavior such as an introvert becoming extroverted, children drawing sexual pictures or showing other preoccupation with sex, depression and suicidal expressions. Fortunato recalled how a second-grade girl she had counseled had told her about how she had told a priest in preparing for first Communion that she was having impure sexual thoughts. "A child who has impure sexual thoughts has something going on," she said. "If a child ever said, 'I'm having impure sexual thoughts' I would hope they would explore that and pay attention to that."

Fortunato explained that the severity of abuse, the victim's age and support system, the identity of the abuser and other factors determine how one suffers and copes. But there are certain common symptoms. First and foremost one faces a loss of a sense of trust and safety. "For anybody who has been abused the world is not going to feel very safe and the ability to trust others and themselves has been profoundly violated."

Depression and grief are two primary symptoms that victims experience, whether weeks or years after the violation, as they mourn the loss of childhood innocence. Another problem area is with intimacy and sexuality, as married persons or those dating struggle to define good boundaries and create healthy relationships and with giving of themselves physically. "Sexual abuse profoundly affects an individual's perspective on sexuality and intimacy. The damage done goes well beyond attitudes toward the physical act of sex. For example, a person might have problems being emotionally intimate with others, may have difficulty developing healthy boundaries, and may have trouble accepting oneself as a sexual being," she said.

Then there's a loss of self-esteem as one feels shame, guilt and isolation and a sense of being "damaged and dirty," Fortunato continued, as the violation is an attack against the individual, both physically and emotionally. Those who are abused by clergy may be more likely to ask why God allowed this to happen and question the authority of the church or struggle with issues of power and control.

While clearly children who were forced to have sex for years are deeply hurt, Fortunato added that people should not minimize the potential for significant psychological damage to children from being fondled even just once. "It isn't 'just fondling.' Don't minimize that experience. However that person interprets it is valid for them." Non-physical experiences like a child being exposed to pornography or an adult masturbating can also be considered child abuse, she said.

While she's had teenage clients in the past who have been overly open and told everybody they know about their abuse, Fortunato said the healing process of building trust and relationships outside of counseling often involves "finding good and appropriate people who you can tell your story to who will believe you and support you."

As each victim has their unique story and circumstances, each victim must also chart his or her own path to wholeness, whether "going public" with their abuse story or facing the traumatic truth of their childhood for the first time.

For those abused by clergy there is the national Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, with a mission to support survivors and prevent further abuse through public education and advocacy, and Tamar's Voice, another survivors network for those abused by clergy which ministers to them, promotes awareness of pastoral misconduct and provides educational resources for the healing process. Many volunteers with Project Aware are survivors themselves, Fortunato said.

"When I refer people I try to give them a variety of sources. Some things work for some people, some for others. I'd certainly recommend first individual therapy or in a group setting. Personal individual therapy is a first step," Fortunato said. For more information, call Project Aware at (404) 885-7459.