The Georgia Bulletin

Fri, May 16, 2008


What I Have Seen and Heard - Archbishop Gregory's Weekly Column

Print Issue: February 14, 2002

Is It Love? Christ The King's Singles Ministry Plays Matchmaker For Night

Photos

By Priscilla Greear, Staff Writer

ATLANTA-Call it musical chairs meets "The Dating Game." In a new twist in their outreach, the CTK Singles Ministry of the Cathedral of Christ the King initiated a "five-minute dating program" on Jan. 30, as part of the group's dating series. It's purpose: to provide a new way for nearly 800 members of its singles ministry and other singles in a non-threatening, spiritually grounded environment, and have fun in the process. It was similar to a regular program called "turbo dating" held through the Marcus Jewish Community Center of Atlanta. The evening was held in the church's parish hall. Keri Allen, the Cathedral's director of evangelization, and Father Thony Jean, parochial vicar, started the evening off with a spiritual message. "I want to tell you the Lord your God wants you to first and foremost be in love with him because he's in love with you. Only then you will know why you are created and therefore can give yourself in love." He spoke of the importance of treating oneself with respect and dignity and "recognizing you are lovable. You learn how to treat yourself right and therefore you do the same thing for (other) people..." Then the group of 162 participants, ranging in age from the mid-20s to early 40s, were given basic instructions about how the program worked, along with some ice-breaker questions. The groups were paired, with 10 women sitting directly across from 10 men. As the clock ticked down five minutes, each woman talked to the man sitting across from her. After five minutes, each man moved down a seat to the next woman. The five minute time limit gave the event an air of fun anticipation-but also a little bit of anxiety as participants worked out the "getting to know you" jitters. "I was nervous about it but after I got started I felt a whole lot better. Into the second person I talked to a started feeling a lot less nervous and was pretty calm by the end of it," said Stacey Pylkas. Single Catholics clearly did some high speed soul mate searching. After each five minute conversation, persons feeling anything from romantic sparks to flickers of friendship indicated if they were interested in having a date with that person. A few days after the event people were e-mailed the contact information for others with whom there was mutual dating interest. "We had a lot of matches but we also had a lot of misses," said co-president Dawn Gagne. Some came away dateless, many had one match and one man checking off eight women had seven dates. One group of 20 people collectively had three matches. After the event, Pylkas said she thinks everyone felt some anxiety and fear of rejection. A physician assistant who moved to Atlanta about a year ago, Pylkas, 32, hopes to get married but for now is enjoying getting more involved with CTK Singles of the Cathedral. "I pray that God's going to send me the right person and I think I joined the group for a reason. But the bonus was I've made a lot of new friends and I am learning how to get closer to God by joining in service events and spiritual (activities.) I'd never done anything like that before," she said. Peter Wallin recently transferred to Atlanta with Georgia Pacific, and found the program a "good start" to meet new people. But he's more interested in getting involved in CTK Singles through things like retreats and sports. "It's pretty good but five minutes is way too short. So far the people I've met seem like good people." Gagne said it is a priority of CTK Singles to become more spiritually grounded and leaders are working hard to change their image as a party group. "In every relationship there are actually three people. If we are Catholic we have to live by what God has told us." She offered some consolation for the date-deprived. "I think the true way to meet people is not through this event. The true way is through other events (planned by) our spiritual team, service events where you spend the day talking to people. That's my general feeling about our group. If that event didn't work out for somebody it's not that they're not going to meet someone in our group." Added Gagne, who got one date, "the event was not particularly successful for me. I don't think I come off well in five minutes. It takes more than five minutes to get to know people." Allen noted that it's hard to scratch a soul's surface in five minutes. "Five years married, maybe. It's a beginning." The evangelization director had reservations initially but once she began working with them found members "extremely cooperative." "These people need a place to meet other quality young adults and what better place than at the church. I think it's great that we can provide an environment for that to happen. It's a safe environment." She agrees that the group is becoming more spiritually grounded. "Their hearts are in the right place. I think they're in formation-aren't we all? And so it's our job as the church to help them with that formation. If we can help them with that formation before they get married they're so much farther ahead." Co-president Matt Leszynski said that the easiest ways for visitors to get involved is through the monthly Wine and Cheese Social, going out to dinner after the 5:30 p.m. Sunday Mass or attending committee meetings. "You'll find people very welcoming here. I'd just like to encourage people to get involved." He also emphasized that the group is a ministry to help singles grow personally and with Christ, fostering fellowship, friendship and fun. "We're trying to incorporate Jesus somehow into everything we do," he said. "Being part of a singles ministry religion is not a taboo subject," he said. "It's OK" to talk about God.

PRAYING FOR SINGLES--Father Thony Jean, parochial vicar at the Cathedral of Christ the King, Atlanta, leads a closing prayer over the room of single participants. Keri Allen, director of evangelization and adult education for the Cathedral, also read the scripture passage about the meeting of Issac and Rebekah (Genesis, Chapter 24).
FACE TO FACE--Patti Stuczynski, left, and Bill Sioles, both members of the Cathedral of Christ the King, Atlanta, engage in the five-minute dating process. In five minutes the parties converse with each other, determine if there are any common interests and then move on to the next person in their group. The goal is to eventually meet someone with whom you might like to have a longer follow-up date or lasting relationship.
DATE MATES--Laura Gallinari, left, of St. Ann's Church, Marietta, and Alvaro Rodriguez, of St. Thomas the Apostle Church, Smyrna, find something to laugh about during their five minute dating session. The two singles joined more than 150 other singles in the parish hall of the Cathedral of Christ the King, Atlanta.
GETTING TO KNOW YOU--Some 160 singles take five minutes to get to know each other before they switch places and move on to talk to the next person. The singles gathered in the parish hall of the Cathedral of Christ the King, Atlanta, for the Jan. 30 five minute dating program.