Print Issue: February 14, 2002
| Is It Love? Christ The King's Singles Ministry Plays Matchmaker For Night |
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By Priscilla Greear, Staff Writer
ATLANTA-Call it musical chairs meets "The Dating Game." In a new twist
in their outreach, the CTK Singles Ministry of the Cathedral of Christ
the King initiated a "five-minute dating program" on Jan. 30, as part
of the group's dating series. It's purpose: to provide a new way for nearly
800 members of its singles ministry and other singles in a non-threatening,
spiritually grounded environment, and have fun in the process. It was
similar to a regular program called "turbo dating" held through the Marcus
Jewish Community Center of Atlanta. The evening was held in the church's
parish hall. Keri Allen, the Cathedral's director of evangelization, and
Father Thony Jean, parochial vicar, started the evening off with a spiritual
message. "I want to tell you the Lord your God wants you to first and
foremost be in love with him because he's in love with you. Only then
you will know why you are created and therefore can give yourself in love."
He spoke of the importance of treating oneself with respect and dignity
and "recognizing you are lovable. You learn how to treat yourself right
and therefore you do the same thing for (other) people..." Then the group
of 162 participants, ranging in age from the mid-20s to early 40s, were
given basic instructions about how the program worked, along with some
ice-breaker questions. The groups were paired, with 10 women sitting directly
across from 10 men. As the clock ticked down five minutes, each woman
talked to the man sitting across from her. After five minutes, each man
moved down a seat to the next woman. The five minute time limit gave the
event an air of fun anticipation-but also a little bit of anxiety as participants
worked out the "getting to know you" jitters. "I was nervous about it
but after I got started I felt a whole lot better. Into the second person
I talked to a started feeling a lot less nervous and was pretty calm by
the end of it," said Stacey Pylkas. Single Catholics clearly did some
high speed soul mate searching. After each five minute conversation, persons
feeling anything from romantic sparks to flickers of friendship indicated
if they were interested in having a date with that person. A few days
after the event people were e-mailed the contact information for others
with whom there was mutual dating interest. "We had a lot of matches but
we also had a lot of misses," said co-president Dawn Gagne. Some came
away dateless, many had one match and one man checking off eight women
had seven dates. One group of 20 people collectively had three matches.
After the event, Pylkas said she thinks everyone felt some anxiety and
fear of rejection. A physician assistant who moved to Atlanta about a
year ago, Pylkas, 32, hopes to get married but for now is enjoying getting
more involved with CTK Singles of the Cathedral. "I pray that God's going
to send me the right person and I think I joined the group for a reason.
But the bonus was I've made a lot of new friends and I am learning how
to get closer to God by joining in service events and spiritual (activities.)
I'd never done anything like that before," she said. Peter Wallin recently
transferred to Atlanta with Georgia Pacific, and found the program a "good
start" to meet new people. But he's more interested in getting involved
in CTK Singles through things like retreats and sports. "It's pretty good
but five minutes is way too short. So far the people I've met seem like
good people." Gagne said it is a priority of CTK Singles to become more
spiritually grounded and leaders are working hard to change their image
as a party group. "In every relationship there are actually three people.
If we are Catholic we have to live by what God has told us." She offered
some consolation for the date-deprived. "I think the true way to meet
people is not through this event. The true way is through other events
(planned by) our spiritual team, service events where you spend the day
talking to people. That's my general feeling about our group. If that
event didn't work out for somebody it's not that they're not going to
meet someone in our group." Added Gagne, who got one date, "the event
was not particularly successful for me. I don't think I come off well
in five minutes. It takes more than five minutes to get to know people."
Allen noted that it's hard to scratch a soul's surface in five minutes.
"Five years married, maybe. It's a beginning." The evangelization director
had reservations initially but once she began working with them found
members "extremely cooperative." "These people need a place to meet other
quality young adults and what better place than at the church. I think
it's great that we can provide an environment for that to happen. It's
a safe environment." She agrees that the group is becoming more spiritually
grounded. "Their hearts are in the right place. I think they're in formation-aren't
we all? And so it's our job as the church to help them with that formation.
If we can help them with that formation before they get married they're
so much farther ahead." Co-president Matt Leszynski said that the easiest
ways for visitors to get involved is through the monthly Wine and Cheese
Social, going out to dinner after the 5:30 p.m. Sunday Mass or attending
committee meetings. "You'll find people very welcoming here. I'd just
like to encourage people to get involved." He also emphasized that the
group is a ministry to help singles grow personally and with Christ, fostering
fellowship, friendship and fun. "We're trying to incorporate Jesus somehow
into everything we do," he said. "Being part of a singles ministry religion
is not a taboo subject," he said. "It's OK" to talk about God.
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PRAYING FOR SINGLES--Father Thony Jean, parochial vicar at
the Cathedral of Christ the King, Atlanta, leads a closing prayer over the
room of single participants. Keri Allen, director of evangelization and
adult education for the Cathedral, also read the scripture passage about
the meeting of Issac and Rebekah (Genesis, Chapter 24). |
| FACE TO FACE--Patti Stuczynski, left, and Bill Sioles, both
members of the Cathedral of Christ the King, Atlanta, engage in the five-minute
dating process. In five minutes the parties converse with each other, determine
if there are any common interests and then move on to the next person in
their group. The goal is to eventually meet someone with whom you might
like to have a longer follow-up date or lasting relationship. |
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DATE MATES--Laura Gallinari, left, of St. Ann's Church, Marietta,
and Alvaro Rodriguez, of St. Thomas the Apostle Church, Smyrna, find something
to laugh about during their five minute dating session. The two singles
joined more than 150 other singles in the parish hall of the Cathedral of
Christ the King, Atlanta. |
| GETTING TO KNOW YOU--Some 160 singles take five minutes to
get to know each other before they switch places and move on to talk to
the next person. The singles gathered in the parish hall of the Cathedral
of Christ the King, Atlanta, for the Jan. 30 five minute dating program.
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