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By Suzanne Haugh, Staff Writer
ATLANTA—Every Monday Auxiliary Bishop John J. Kaising of the
Archdiocese for the Military Services reads a number of news stories from the
Catholic News Service, the National Conference of Catholic Bishops and Catholic
newspapers, both local and national.
On one Monday in July he failed to find mention of a particular
news release from the Vatican in any of the newspapers he read that day. On
July 7 Pope John Paul II had cleared the way for the beatification of the first
married couple.
Speaking to over 700 enthusiastic married couples and more than 80
priests, Bishop Kaising told of this discovery and recognized “the saints
of God here in front of me” gathered July 20-22 on the Georgia Tech campus
for Worldwide Marriage Encounter’s national convention, entitled
“Marriage: A Grace Odyssey.”
Started by laity and priests in the 1970s to revitalize Christian
marriages, Marriage Encounter weekends have taught couples a technique of daily
dialoguing that nourishes intimacy between spouses as they live their vocation
of married life. Priests are also an integral element in the ministry as they
journey along with their spouse, the church, in their vocation of holy orders.
A 25-foot banner of Our Lady of Grace, the convention’s
patroness, surrounded by a myriad of photographs submitted by participants,
welcomed couples and priests who had traveled from across the United States and
as far away as Australia, the Philippines, Korea and Africa. They came to renew
their love for each other and reinvigorate their desire to share the gift of a
Marriage Encounter weekend with others. Composer and musician Ed Bolduc, along
with his wife, Karen, lead vocalist, and their band from the Church of St. Ann,
Marietta, led the crowd throughout the weekend in songs of praise.
The event offered separate tracks on Saturday for English and
Spanish speakers. Father Alberto R. Cutié of St. Patrick Church in
Miami, and a television talk show host of “Cambia Tu Vida con Padre
Alberto,” was the keynote speaker for the Spanish-speaking segment.
But all came together for Friday night’s opening and
Sunday’s presentations and Mass.
Grace Becomes Focus Of Saturday’s Odyssey
Father Tom Griffith, SVD, of Chicago explained the weekend’s
theme in his homily during Saturday morning’s opening Mass.
“Life is an odyssey,” he said. “It’s a journey
to an endpoint with a lot of ups and downs along the way, most of them not
expected.”
He continued, “Grace is God’s presence in our lives. It
makes a difference whether we’re hanging out there alone or with God, who
is walking the whole way with us.”
He reflected on the literary Odyssey of Homer, “the model of
fidelity,” as he journeyed 20 years to finally return to his wife,
Penelope, and on the biblical exodus of the Israelites who eventually reached
the Promised Land despite uncomfortable living conditions and transgressions
against God in the desert.
“And there’s the odyssey of salvation, Christ, and how
the story of his public life reinforces the law of love,” he added. These
journeys provide a witness to us today. “Grace doesn’t eliminate
obstacles, but it lets us know that God is with us all along the way.”
As even detailed maps cannot attest to the beauty of a gorge or
vista as much as being able to personally see or experience it, Father Griffith
said, “we are eager to take off on our journey, take off with our spouse .
. . We celebrate this odyssey of grace, proclaiming God’s presence in our
lives.”
Cleverly mimicking the movie “2001: A Space Odyssey,”
the beginning of each of three presentations on Saturday incorporated clips
from movies, such as Star Wars and Apollo 13, and news events highlighting
man’s presence in outer space. Made by one couple and a priest teamed
together, talks focused on lifelines of prayer, dialoguing, intimacy and
community needed for life’s journey.
One team spoke of “asteroids,” or challenges, faced
during life and how these become opportunities for growth as God provides the
umbrella of his grace to shield sojourners.
“Christ is the ultimate lifeline,” one presenter
proclaimed, as the team explained how he walks with couples in prayer, the
Eucharist and through one another. They reminded participants to ask for the
grace promised to them in their sacrament. “We need to recognize it with
our heads, claim it or ask for it and then embrace and accept it.”
“God’s grace witnesses to the power of God in our lives
and we can then be witnesses to others. God’s power is made perfect in our
weakness.”
In the last presentation, “Called to Witness,”
participants were reminded of the two types of grace: sanctifying grace and
actual grace.
Sanctifying grace allows for our salvation “not by what we do
but because of who we know, Christ. With sanctifying grace it is Christ working
for us.”
“With actual grace, it comes because of Christ working in
us,” the presenter explained. “Can we be more saved since that first
day? No. It’s a done deal, but we can impact our daily development. The
fact is that we’re here for a reason: to glorify God in service.”
The team jumped ahead to the end of our earthly journey.
“When Christ comes again, we will be saved by his grace and
rewarded according to our deeds,” one presenter affirmed. “We must
claim grace and witness to it. It’s on-going and requires our
participation.”
At the invitation of the presenters, participants were invited to
address the crowd, witnessing to grace in their own lives through experiences
with others.
“The clearest sign of grace is forgiveness,” a presenter
concluded. “Man is born broken; grace is the glue. When the grace of God
is missed, there is bitterness. When the grace of God is embraced, miracles are
born.”
Following dinner, poodle skirts and blue jeans announced the theme
of the evening’s 1950s sock hop.
Auxiliary Bishop Recalls His Walk With Marriage Encounter
Part of Sunday’s presentations was the keynote address by
Bishop Kaising who chronicled his involvement with Marriage Encounter up to his
April appointment as auxiliary bishop serving 1.5 million Catholics involved in
the military.
“If you want to give God a start on a good day by making him
laugh, just tell him what your plans are. I did that and look at what happened
to me,” joked Bishop Kaising, who had planned to settle in after years of
military service and pastor a church in his hometown of Cincinnati before
retiring to Florida.
His involvement with Marriage Encounter began in 1978 in Anniston,
Ala., when a couple “came into my life. They literally walked into my
office, made me open my appointment book and block a (Marriage Encounter)
weekend,” he recalled. “You guys never give up.”
He described his hesitation to “share intimately” on the
weekend with another priest he had never met.
“You (the couples) sleep in the same bed. I didn’t know
(the other priest) from a bar of soap,” he confided.
His weekend, however, started him on a journey with Married
Encounter that has included involvement in presenting Marriage Encounter
weekends and leadership within the ministry.
“I ask myself: Why do I stay involved with Marriage
Encounter? Simply because you’re fantastic people. You understand what it
is to be in love and you’re not afraid to show it. You’re people of
faith, faith in God and faith in each other.”
“You go to the ends of the earth for each other and if
you’re willing to do that, can I do any less for you? You challenge me to
grow.”
Bishop Kaising detailed his transformation from being a pro at
hugging at arms’ length. “I put up an iron curtain because I thought
you (the people of the church) were a threat . . . But you led me to say to
you, ‘I love you and need you to love me.’ That was a major
breakthrough. People in my parish didn’t know what I went through, but
they sensed that I was a different person . . . I was no longer a Cadillac
priest, the Lone Ranger priest, who would drop a silver bullet and then
go.”
He credited one Marriage Encounter couple with taking the time to
“draw out of me what they knew was there.”
“That’s the power that you, as a couple, have if you
just keep working on us. I’m no longer a crusty, self-sufficient colonel
who doesn’t need anybody . . . You’ll never know the power you have
to change guys like me—you have the power to change the world.”
“So why do I stay with you? I’d be lost without you.
I’ve been pushed, pulled, beaten up by Marriage Encounter people.
Sometimes you’re the biggest pain . . . but you’ve been the light and
power in my priesthood.”
He also emphasized the contributions of “encountered”
couples. “You’re the hope of the church. You’re the folks who
know what your sacrament is all about. You are your sacrament; you know it and
live it.”
The bishop ended by referring to liturgical music written by Marty
Haugen and called on the couples, “who are wonderful and
nutty-in-love,” to continue living their sacrament because “I
remember, I celebrate, I believe.”
Archbishop John F. Donoghue Affirms Marriage Encounter Ministry
The closing Mass, celebrated by Archbishop John F. Donoghue, began
with an emotionally charged procession of Marriage Encounter leadership and
priests and Religious. Those in the crowd sang “Shout to the North,”
waving the sign language equivalent of “I love you.”
Bishop William S. Skylstad of Spokane, Wash., focused on the theme
of hospitality in his homily. In it, he used the Old Testament story of Abraham
and Sarah welcoming three strangers to introduce different levels of
hospitality.
First, “hospitality in relationships,” or
“hospitality of the heart,” calls one to a welcoming and gracious
attitude that serves the stranger, Bishop Skylstad said. “In our
hospitality, God helps to create, affirm and reflect his hospitality to
others.”
Another level of hospitality is what we show to our spouse and
transforms the marriage relationship. “A spouse goes out of his or her way
for the other. It’s a lifestyle of giving. Rugged individualism has no
place in the heart of a spouse.”
It is important to receive hospitality as well as give it, the
bishop said. “If there’s no one there to receive it, how can one give
it? It’s crucial in the relationship.”
Hospitality of the marriage relationship is another level.
“We need strong married relationships; we need strong communities of
faith,” he said.
As a couple displays hospitality to family members and the global
family, “truly they share God in their midst.”
Important to this is the hospitality of listening. “No matter
how busy we are, we need to provide time to listen.”
This can mean listening to God in prayer as well as the poor or a
small child who might have hurt a finger.
“God attentively hears the cries of those in pain. Does our
hospitality of listening hear those cries?”
He acknowledged Marriage Encounter’s ministry of listening
and responding to the cries heard in society. As one comes to know Jesus in
one’s heart and mind, “God will bless us and surprise us for we are
on a journey, a grace odyssey.”
Following the Mass, Archbishop Donoghue addressed the crowd, which
welcomed him with a standing ovation. He thanked them for their involvement in
this ministry. He praised priests and Religious for their involvement in the
preparation, celebration and counseling of marriages and then acknowledged the
support of others committed to Marriage Encounter. Echoing Bishop Skylstad, the
archbishop emphasized that there can be no love if no one is there to receive
it. “Our very salvation is based on this premise.”
Those committed to Marriage Encounter embrace this, he said, and
validate that “the grace of God is working through our own mutual
cooperation.”
One is propelled, then, on an odyssey of grace “to help lead
the church and those to follow.”
The crowd responded enthusiastically by shouting to the
archbishop, “we love you, we want you” on a Marriage Encounter
weekend.
The convention ended with a sendoff for Marriage Encounter’s
worldwide council that oversees the ministry’s activities in 80 countries
and within 12 faith expressions. On their feet, couples sang and swayed to
their adopted theme song, “There’s a New World Somewhere,” now
recharged in their ministry and also charged to share the graces received.
One local leader within Marriage Encounter has been Father Leo
Cummings, MS, parochial vicar at the Church of St. Ann in Marietta. He was
among those presenting during Friday’s “Priest Day,” designed to
strengthen the relationship of ecclesial teams, formed of a married couple and
a priest who are working or have worked together in a leadership position
within Marriage Encounter. The presentations focused on the “ups and
downs” of their relationship, Father Cummings said. The hope is that the
three move beyond just a working relationship and into a more intimate
relationship of strength and support.
“These people accept you as you are, but they also challenge
you in areas of growth,” said Father Cummings, who has had a dialoguing
relationship with Jeff and Noelle Cardell for about six years.
“We share our feelings and have learned to trust one
another,” he said.
A self-proclaimed introvert, Father Cummings credited Marriage
Encounter with his being able to build personal relationships with people,
instead of just reacting or building walls.
Calling their role as convention coordinators one of the
“proverbial gifts” of Marriage Encounter, John and Barbara Fetterly
found prayer and daily dialoguing, to keep their relationship in check, at the
core of the tremendous success of the gathering made evident in the e-mails
posted on the ministry’s web site.
“We prayed a lot, and we chose Our Lady of Grace as our
patron saint, that all was to honor God,” John said. “So we
weren’t in our corner all alone.”
They marveled over “coincidences” through the planning
process. “Someone once told me that if you actually listen, really listen,
to God, he’ll lead you. Things just worked out. Everything we needed to
know, it came.”
Barbara added, “He would keep the door shut until the right
one opened up.”
Both are still “flying high” following the convention,
which they see as a “grand slam.” They attest to the “awesome
group of couples working with us” as key to the convention’s success.
The feedback on the convention posted on the ministry’s web
site glowed with praise for the weekend amid a couple of suggestions for the
next one and a few who hoped future conventions might, as in the past, involve
the entire family.
Pedro and Miriam Gonzalez of El Paso, Texas, enjoyed having the
opportunity to “show our love for our priests.” They added, “Fue
hermoso ver y juntarnos con la gran familia y sacerdotes del Encuentro
Matrimonial. Creemos que fue una oportunidad para demonstrar nuestro gran amor
que les tenemos a nuestros sacerdotes, y creemos que les dio oportunidad a
ellos de renovar su fuerza y dedicación al Encuentro Matrimonial.”
Scott and Karen Seaborn of Carbondale, Ill., credited the music,
presentations, the dialogues and the people for the “vibrant and
alive” convention. They reminisced on the fire alarm going off in the
Georgia Tech dorm at 2 a.m. and other incidents as part of the
“ambience” they will remember from the convention. They added,
“Truly God hung out at Georgia Tech this weekend. You could almost see him
above the stage looking down on all of us waving the “I love you”
symbol back and forth as we sang ‘The Grace of God.’”
Matt and Karen Kuppinger of St. Louis chimed in their praise,
“. . . Thank you Atlanta for a most wonderful, enriching and entertaining,
amazing grace odyssey we ever thought possible. God bless you all, or is it all
y’all? We really didn’t want this one to end.” |
