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By Erika Anderson, Staff Writer
ATLANTA—After recently celebrating the 25th anniversary of
their ministry, those serving Catholic Engaged Encounter in the archdiocese
hope to recruit more married couples to share with engaged couples the secrets
to a successful marriage.
Jackie Tardy, who, along with her husband, John, serves as a local
coordinator of CEE, said that there are currently 22 married couples involved
in the ministry. They present 12 weekend retreats a year to engaged couples as
a marriage preparation option. More priests are also needed.
According to Engaged Encounter’s web site, a CEE weekend is
“a retreat experience which provides the engaged couple the opportunity to
discuss with each other their future together in the sacrament of matrimony.
The goal is to deepen a couple’s relationship through reflection and
dialogue. Presentations by a team of two married couples and a priest (allow)
the couples to reflect on topics such as: self-knowledge, communication,
sexuality and morality, decision-making, sacrament, family and engagement and
betrothal.”
In 2000, National Catholic Engaged Encounter celebrated its 25th
year. At a Mass held at the Cathedral of Christ the King in Atlanta, Archbishop
John F. Donoghue affirmed those who serve the ministry.
“The Catholic Engaged Encounter is such a platform for good
works—education, counseling, encouragement, relief, organized
prayer—there are so many facets to the activities of this group, and every
one of them is founded in this first and most visible means by which we allow
God to enter into us, and to make us successful in working with one another, in
living with one another—the doing of good work, work which He sees and
blesses, and which reflects His love for us, and His mercy on our trials and
troubles,” he said.
“The Gospel today tells us of John the Baptist exhorting,
urging the people to do good works, as they prepare for the coming of the Lord,
and the Church has always been faithful in urging the Faithful to do the
same—and we renew at this Mass, especially by the commissioning of our
workers and the blessing of all involved couples, our own intentions to follow
this direction of the Gospel and teaching of our Church.”
The archbishop then spoke about the importance of hope in the
ministry of Engaged Encounter.
“For all who are involved with Marriage Encounter and with
Catholic Engaged Encounter, the virtue of hope is perhaps the most essential
message of our ministry, of our teaching, and of whatever influence we are able
to exercise on those who come to us for guidance and help,” he said.
“For no marriage, and in fact no human relationship, can succeed without
divine assistance—the pitfalls of human nature which militate against true
love are too great—the pitfalls of ego, of self-fulfillment in place of
self-sacrifice, and the terrible emotion that grows out of love turned sour,
the emotion we call hate.”
After the homily, the archbishop offered a special blessing to the
couples involved in CEE. They then held a reception afterward in the
Cathedral’s parish hall to celebrate 25 years of marriage preparation
ministry.
An Engaged Encounter weekend allows engaged couples to learn from
the two presenting couples, one a senior couple married for over seven years
and the other a junior couple married for less than seven years.
Ken and Lynn Evans have been involved in CEE for nearly 20 years.
Married for 33 years, the couple first became involved in the ministry in New
Jersey. Now parishioners of St. John Neumann Church in Lilburn, the couple has
served in varying leadership levels in the CEE National Organization, including
the national executive team.
Evans said that it means a lot to the ministry to have the support
of the archbishop.
“The archdiocese not only supports it, but embraces it,”
he said. “Especially in our ministry it’s very important to know that
we are out there presenting the weekends and presenting the teachings of the
church on marriage. It lends credence to what we’re doing. On the
weekends, there are sometimes folks there just because they have to be there.
It’s nice to know that if you have a tough customer, you are
supported.”
Jackie Tardy agrees that the support of the archbishop is
essential.
“It was touching that he even had the time to come (to the
anniversary Mass), and we were grateful for all the beautiful things he said in
his homily,” she said. “You get the sense that (CEE) is a formula
that works obviously because of the strong support from the archbishop and the
priests.”
Tardy and her husband, John, made their Engaged Encounter weekend
five years ago and continue to serve as local coordinators. She said there are
ways for couples to be involved in the ministry depending on their interest
level. Couples are needed for set up and administrative work, as well as for
presenting weekends.
“We are just looking for couples with strong marital
relationships who are strong in their faith,” she said. “And we do
have interfaith couples that are involved.”
Dan and Kerryn Agnew are one interdenominational couple.
Originally from Australia, they made their Engaged Encounter weekend in Sydney
in 1994.
Kerryn Agnew, who is not Catholic, said that she was
“surprised by how many things came out on the weekend and how many things
could have caused conflicts later,” especially involving questions she had
about the church.
“I had never even met a priest,” she said. “So
having a priest there was really good. I was able to ask questions and talk
about a lot of issues I had with the church.”
She said that one of the first things they did when they moved to
Atlanta three years ago was get involved with CEE.
“We had found such a strength of community in
Australia,” she said. “It’s great to interact with people who
have the same level of commitment that you do and to be with people who are
still enthusiastic about marriage and positive about the future of marriage. It
reminds you of why you got married in the first place.”
Her husband, Dan, agrees that being involved in CEE ministry has
proved “enriching” for their marriage.
“It’s one of those daunting tasks that is hard work but
what you get out of it is so much more than what you put into it,” he
said. “It’s been very gratifying, from a purely selfish point, in
strengthening our own marriage, let alone how good you feel about doing this
for other people.”
Lynn Evans said that she is involved in the ministry for many
reasons.
“First, I believe in the sacrament of marriage, and working
with the young people really gives us hope for the future,” she said.
“Looking at the couples and seeing how much they love each other helps us
to keep the spark alive.”
Evans said that since she and her husband have been involved, they
have become very close to other couples and engaged couples who have made the
weekends, even becoming godparents to some of their children. The people
involved become “like family,” she said.
“Being involved forces you to remember the vows you took,
whether they were 33 years ago or three years ago, for better or worse. A lot
of times those worse times are the ones you think you’ll never get
through,” she said. “But being in this ministry, you have people to
hold your hand and help you to get through those bad times.”
The next CEE weekend will be held April 20-22 at the Calvin Center
in Hampton. Call (770) 975-1147 to register.
To volunteer for the ministry, call John or Jackie Tardy at (404)
869-4760. |
