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By Suzanne Haugh
ATLANTA—Sally Mews has become one of the “Avon
ladies” for the Catholic Church. She isn’t selling cosmetics or
perfume. Instead, relying on her own spiritual healing of wounds that drove her
from the church, she has fashioned a product, a program, that has enabled
others to find a home again within its walls.
Mews referred to an insight she heard from Bishop John Gorman, an
auxiliary bishop of the Chicago Archdiocese. He spoke on evangelization and the
Catholic Church.
“He said that for a long time the Catholic Church has been
perceived as Exxon—a big, sophisticated organization where people come,
fill up and are content. But what has to happen is a radical change ... The
Catholic Church has to be perceived as the Avon lady and go door to door.”
Unlike the spread of the early church through the evangelization
of Jews and Gentiles, the modern church has become too complacent and of the
mindset of “just minding the store,” charged Mews, 52.
“We’ve stopped reaching beyond boundaries. Many are
uncomfortable with reaching out ... (But) we are the church and if we
don’t make the invitation, who’s going to do it?”
Mews admits she “wouldn’t in a million years” have
thought that she would ever be a vehicle for such a ministry. The program she
has created, entitled “Catholics Returning Home,” will be used in the
Archdiocese of Atlanta as it embarks on an effort to invite back Catholics
distant from the church. The program has been used in Chicago, St. Louis and
Indianapolis.
“Okay, (the church) is big. We shouldn’t be isolated or
closed. Instead we must reach out and allow people to find a niche. They need
to know that there’s a special place for them, that they’re wanted,
that they’re not just a number and are ignored ... There are a zillion
places to go to within the church,” said Mews.
As those who have been away from the church return, Mews said it
is not unusual for them to ask, “Can I really do this?”
“Maybe they’ve been married outside of the church or are
living lifestyles not in line with all the church requirements—such as
(unmarried) couples living together or those living homosexual lifestyles ...
If you look to the Bible, to the Catholic faith, there are no sins which cannot
be forgiven. Nobody is beyond the mercy of God,” she said.
Still, that doesn’t mean we can “forget the rules,”
Mews said. Once they’ve been welcomed back, updated on the Catechism of
the Catholic Church and are comfortable, those who return can go to numerous
programs within the church to work through their personal issues.
“Even if they can’t go to Communion, they can still
attend Mass. So what, they’re still Catholic. We meet with them and help
them feel better about the church. The Lord will draw them to the next
step.”
The six-week program will be offered in area parishes after
Christmas and Easter, times when those who may be on the fringes of a church
community often attend Mass. Pastors and parish representatives will
participate in training sessions during the summer and fall.
The program’s first two sessions focus on sharing faith
stories while the other sessions offer instruction on the basic beliefs and
practices of the Catholic faith.
“People need to feel listened to; they need support and
empathy,” she said. “They need to see that other people are in the
same situations. They also need the basics (of the faith) to give them a sense
of security.”
By researching other programs and through trial and error, Mews
has created a program that is not a gripe session, but has brought healing for
many.
“People who haven’t been away wonder why we can’t
just ask people back and answer their questions ... (That type of format) can
be a very negative experience, a real downer that can go right to the most
complicated Catholic issues.”
The “Catholics Returning Home” program offers “a
clean, easy track that gives compassion, support and the basics. And
they’re moved along through the process,” she said.
Having attended a 12-Step program as the adult child of an
alcoholic father, Mews understands how easy it is for some groups to “go
around and around instead of healing. They can get stuck in a quagmire.”
During the second session, participants will view a video by
Father William McKee, a Redemptorist priest. The video shows participants
scenes from churches and Mass, and allows them to listen to others sharing
their faith stories.
“Without them realizing it, there’s a shift away from
them to the larger picture.”
Mews said the move keeps participants from focusing only on their
hurt and allows the healing process to begin.
For the first few sessions, the presentations take place without
priests, a component designed to diffuse any anger or hurt participants may
harbor and allows the laity to relate their experiences.
“I had a Ph.D. psychologist rave about how theoretically
sound the program was. I told him, ‘Yeah, the Lord knows what he’s
doing.’”
An accountant, Mews does not have a Ph.D. in psychology or a
degree in theology. She has drawn from the wisdom and experience gained on her
own search for wholeness after a difficult beginning within the church.
Born into a non-practicing Catholic family, Mews was the daughter
of a sometimes-abusive alcoholic father and a mother who suffered from mental
illness. Her family was poor. She recalled bitter memories during fourth
through eighth grades as a student attending a Catholic school. Often her name
was written on the schoolroom’s chalkboard for not having the money to pay
for her tuition. The nuns and her classmates ridiculed her, she said, for the
clothes she wore.
These memories were “seared into my mind as a young child ...
I had been treated horribly and had a very long-lasting negative opposition to
the church that was difficult to overcome.”
She hoped to regain the slight glimmer of peace she had
experienced in a chapel at a Catholic hospital not far from her home. There,
she felt embraced by the Religious and other employees of the hospital that was
one of the main employers in her small town.
Her search for peace led her to other denominations, to the Bible
and eventually back to the Catholic faith.
Upon marrying and having a son, Mews felt “called in her
heart to figure out what was the truth.”
“I started to read; that’s when I had a born again
experience,” she said. “I identified with the outcasts Jesus served
and called. I thought, ‘Okay, I must begin the process of coming back to
the church, but I was a born again Christian before I was Catholic. I was so
anti-Catholic because I was still so mad at the church.”
“Gut-wrenching” was one adjective Mews used to describe
her realization that she would journey back to the Catholic faith. She likened
her healing process to the physical healings Jesus performed by simply touching
a leper or someone’s withered limb.
“From the spiritual point of view, when you’re mentally
or psychologically crippled with wounds, only the Lord can touch you and
(allow) your spirit to be healed. He helps you see and move beyond without
continually living in pain or anger.”
One insight she gained was a firsthand look at how human frailty
marred her spiritual health as a child.
“The human beings were wrong,” she said. “The
church didn’t do that; Jesus didn’t do that.”
Her healing “is a credit to the Lord,” she said.
And as she did, many feel “very devastated and very
miserable.”
“They have felt something missing, a deep sense of unrest.
They might look at other churches, but many come back because they never were
at peace, never at home. They had a feeling of searching for peace, for
wholeness, for the Eucharist.”
Mews’ advice for those who find themselves on the threshold
of the homes of those searching to return is to “love them, love them,
love them.”
“Walk them back. Lead them back, but do it lightly. People
can’t feel judged.”
While Avon ladies are few and far between these days, Mews, who
referred to herself as “just a regular person,” has found a companion
to join her as she continues in her travels. “The Lord is behind me, in
front of me, above me and below.”
She has felt privileged to be invited to this ministry,
overwhelmed at how the Lord works through people and delighted with the results
as she continues her journey going door to door. |
