BY KATHI STEARNS

Staff Writer

ATLANTA--Valentine's Day came early for 150 couples of the Archdiocese of Atlanta who celebrated the 20th anniversary of the Marriage Encounter community.

The Feb. 12 Mass was celebrated by Archbishop John F. Donoghue at the Cathedral of Christ the King. Father Leo Cummings, MS, pastor of St. Clement's Parish, Calhoun, who has been involved in Marriage Encounter for 20 years, was the homilist.

The altar centerpiece was a banner displaying a heart symbolizing both human and divine love resting upon two interlocking wedding rings joined by a cross. These Marriage Encounter symbols represent the enduring quality of eternal love and its potential in Christ-centered human love.

The readings were given by Cathy and Jerry Monda and Roseanne and Joe DeBenedetto. The Gospel was proclaimed by Brother Bob Russell, MS, pastoral associate at St. Francis of Assisi Parish, Cartersville.

During his homily Father Cummings reminded the congregation that marriage is a relationship that recognizes the spiritual equality of the spouses and their capacity to enter into a covenant which demands a gift of the whole person, one to another.

"It is this loving fidelity, this unconditional love, this forgiveness and healing that you as married couples strive to live," he said. "As you do, you mirror to our world what it means when we say that God loves us."

Father Cummings challenged the married couples to give witness to the power of their love by ministering together as a couple. "Invite God into your marriage in a greater way, and armed with His strength and grace go and minister to others."

He told the couples that although 20 years of Marriage Encounter in Atlanta seemed like a long time, it was just a beginning.

"And so dear lovers, we begin again for the sake of your relationship as a couple, for the sake of your children and for the sake of so many who will begin to live the sacrament of matrimony; we believe strongly in the mission of our Church and our part in it," he said.

At the conclusion of the homily Father Joseph Baxer, a LaSalette priest who helped bring Marriage Encounter to the Archdiocese of Atlanta while assigned to St. Francis of Assisi Parish, led a moving "Meditation on the Hands of the Sacrament of Matrimony."

As the couples faced each other with their hands joined together, Father Baxer reminded the couples that "these are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that held yours on your wedding day as you promised to love each other all the days of your life."

During the meditation couples firmly grasped each other's hands and gazed into each other's eyes as they remembered the joys and sorrows they had experienced throughout the years of their marriage. Tears welled up in many eyes as couples recalled the excitement of feeling their baby's first kick or the news that their application to be adoptive parents had been approved. Others recalled the sadness of learning that they couldn't have a child of their own or of losing a child. Father Baxer also asked the couples to reflect upon the sacrifices they had made for the good of their mate and their family and to recognize those sacrifices made by their life's partner.

Father Baxer, now assigned to the LaSalette provincial office in Hartford, Conn., reminded the congregation that even though the hands they held were more worn than they were on the day of marriage, these were the same hands that had pledged unending love to one another on that wedding day and had worked throughout the years to bring nourishment to their partner in marriage.

Archbishop Donoghue then invited the couples to renew their marriage vows.

Juanita and Joe Altschuler then asked the priests in attendance to think back to their ordination day with a "Meditation on the Hands of Holy Orders." With arms outstretched the archbishop and priests reflected upon their work as teachers of the sacrament of matrimony. The Altschulers thanked them for the time they have spent both nurturing healthy marriages and trying to heal the hurt of broken marriages. At the conclusion the congregation broke into applause.

In addition to bread and wine, a Marriage Encounter weekend candle and crucifix, dialogue books and a statue of the Holy Family were brought up during the offertory procession. During Communion the couples stood side by side as most of them received the Eucharist under both forms before returning to their seats for prayer.

Bob and Mary Meehan lead the congregation in the singing of "Sing of Mary" and "I Am The Bread of Life" followed by Steve Green's song, "Find Us Faithful."

After Communion the archbishop thanked his priests who serve as dedicated teachers of the sacrament of marriage.

"These men assist me without stint in teaching the holiness of the sacrament of matrimony, and thus we are able to work together, to insure that the teachings of our Lord and His Church, pass into and down through our Catholic families," Archbishop Donoghue said. "The quality of their dedication and the obvious grace which derives to the good of our people, make this my main prayer this evening: that more men from our priestly ranks might come forward to help us in this work for true to the word of Christ, 'the harvest is abundant, but the laborers are few.'"

The archbishop then turned toward the congregation and told them that the mystery of marriage signifies one's initiation into the life of God.

Citing the Catechism of the Catholic Church the archbishop explained that "it can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God's faithful love. Spouses who, with God's grace, give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community."

"I am here today as the Church's bishop and the servant of her people to proclaim that gratitude and to renew that support, and it is my good fortune to do so this evening," the archbishop said. "As we prepare now, to go back out into the world, fully renewed and recommitted to the holiness of marriage and to the holiness which married life reveals, let us turn to the source of all that is holy and ask for the blessing of our heavenly Father upon all our hopes and our efforts."

The Mass concluded with the singing of the song, "There Is a New World Somewhere."

"We sing that song at all the Marriage Encounter weekends," said Jeff Cardell, who along with his wife, Noelle, is a member of the coordinating team for Marriage Encounter. During the singing of this song participants raised their hands and formed the international sign language sign for "I love you."

"We use that sign as a way of affirming each other," Cardell said. "After a couple makes a Marriage Encounter weekend we encourage them to put Marriage Encounter bumper stickers on their cars. Once someone who has also made a weekend sees that sticker, they'll beep at you and give you the sign. It is an acknowledgment of the specialness of the weekend."

Marriage Encounter weekends take place in a setting away from home and last from Friday evening until Sunday at 5 p.m. Presentations are given by a couple and a priest, but husbands and wives who attend share private communication with their spouses after writing responses to questions given by presenters.

"We made our weekend in June of 1991," said Cardell. "The weekend renewed the passion of our dating days and has given us communication tools to help us through the issues that act as a thorn in our relationship. After making the weekend we realized that we had received a tremendous gift, and we just wanted to have the opportunity to share that gift with others."

For Katherine and Tom Watters, parishioners of All Saints Church, Dunwoody, the Marriage Encounter weekend in March 1992 changed their relationship dramatically.

"Our relationship was good, but it was not moving in a positive direction," Mrs. Watters said. "Our communication was falling apart because we were so focused on world values instead of the values that God wants us to have. Through the weekend we were not only able to recognize that God is a partner in our relationship, but we also renewed and rekindled the romance we once had in our relationship but had forgotten about."

Marriage Encounter came to the archdiocese in the mid-1970s when Tom and Mary Schwerdt brought their enthusiasm for the movement with them when they moved here from New York.

Since 1975 nearly 6,000 couples in the Archdiocese of Atlanta have made Marriage Encounter weekends. Marriage Encounter groups have been formed in 32 archdiocesan parishes and missions. Although Catholic in origin, the weekend is open to all couples regardless of church affiliations.

The next Marriage Encounter weekend will be offered March 15-17. For information call (770) 232-9628.