By Rita McInerney, Staff Writer

ATLANTA – A couple brought their program on Black Culture and Marriage to a new audience when the Canon Law Society of America met in Atlanta for its 56th annual convention.

Deacon Fred and Constance Sambrone gave their informal presentation at morning and evening sessions Oct. 11. Since 1991 they have worked with the archdiocesan Office of Family Concerns giving African-American marriage programs for engaged and married couples.

Mary Ellen Hughes, head of the office, said the Sambrones will give three programs this year with engaged couples who are preparing themselves for wedded life and with married couples striving to enrich their life together.

They also give their program at parishes, for students at Atlanta University Catholic Center where Deacon Sambrone serves, at military bases and in other cities including Jacksonville, Fla., Brooklyn, N.Y., and Pittsburgh, Pa.

The Sambrones reminded their audience, in opening their slide-illustrated talk, of the long history black Catholicism has in this country. Black Catholics were numerous along the Florida coast, in Kentucky, and on Maryland plantations among other areas. Because marriage was not legal for slaves, they developed a ceremony called “Jumping the Broom.”

Holding the Bible in their hands, the couple jumped over a broom to signify their union before God, family and friends. Very often the newly marrieds could not live together as man and wife because the slave owner was head of their household.

Their spirituality made them realize they needed the sanctity of marriage,” although it was only ceremonial, Constance Sambrone said.

Like their ancestors in Africa, today’s black couples believe in the stability of marriage, Deacon Sambrone said.

“The couples we work with are rooted in faith and in God. The Lord is the foundation of family, the root of their service in community. When couples present themselves, they are thinking about being married forever” with their love everlasting.

In Africa, it was common belief and practice that “it takes a whole village to raise a child.” In America, Constance Sambrone said, it was the extended family, that community of kinfolk, some not related by blood, who were the support system when the stumbling blocks of sick children, job losses, family deaths, came along.

For such an extended family, “Sunday was an important day. There was church and then fried chicken and potato salad,” enjoyed with the extended family, Mrs. Sambrone said with a hint of nostalgia.

Today, she said, a major reason for the breakdown in family values is loss of the extended family. Now, “our spirituality is being challenged. Some of us are not going to church anymore.” The culture puts greater value on having the house, the car, money for travel. “We feel if we have these, you will like us more.”

The audience of approximately 50 people included 12 women, some of them sisters working in diocesan tribunals and three African-Americans, including Msgr. Leonard G. Scott, president of the Canon Law Society of America in 1988 and head of the tribunal in the Diocese of Camden, N.J.

“We do like to talk the talk,” Mrs. Sambrone said, “but we’re not talking about the stresses and traumas in our life. We’re being resistant to our mate…being resistant to God. Both spouses are going out to work. The problem occurs when we’re trying to make it and not spending quality time together.”

Her husband picked up the thread. “We tend to forget it’s important to spend time enhancing the relationship.” Yet this can be hard to do in today’s society.

“Black men are being led to believe by corporate America if they walk that walk and talk that talk they’ll get along. But they’re still not accepted as part of the team,” he commented. “They have to work harder, talk better, dress smarter, have more degrees,” than their white counterparts. “But they’re still not moving up.”

For many couples the husband arrives home each night about the same time the wife gets home from her job, also feeling stressed and with little time to comfort each other.

Another factor contributing to stress in black marriages is that black women seem to be “climbing the opportunity ladder faster,” being female and black, two factors highly regarded by equal opportunity managers. When the woman is better paid and has more chances to get ahead, the self-esteem of her mate and the quality of their marriage will be affected.

Racism is alive and well, Constance Sambrone mentioned.

“When I leave my comfort zone (home and office) I have to deal with it every day, racism in the work world, racism in our church. Hopefully, programs like this will help.”

They had suggestions on what should be done to help black couples maintain stability in their marriages:

The Church should open dialogue and propose issues to discuss.

The Church should sponsor more programs on marriage given by black couples for black couples.

The Church should help bring back the meaning and value of family. “We want the church to be the center of life again, for worship and for help. The church is no longer community-based. Stop closing schools and churches in the inner city.”

Catholics should become more culturally literate, learn more about black culture. “We’re not so different.”

“We want everybody to realize that stability is very important. We want to survive as married couples,” was their closing appeal.

During the question and comment period which followed, one priest who said he pastored an African-American parish for 10 years, commended the Sambrones for what they’re doing. “Keep trying, don’t get discouraged,” he told them.

The priest, Father Donald R. Goetz, of the Louisville Archdiocese, afterward said he thought the presentation was “right on target. The extended family is being lost in every community.”

Many of his parishioners at Immaculate Heart of Mary were second- and third-generation Catholics. “I did celebrate lots of 25th and 50th wedding anniversaries,” and always encouraged the celebrations be held amidst the congregation.