By Susan Stevenot Sullivan

“When people seek an abortion they don’t seek to kill their child,” said Mary Ann McNeil, M.S.W., a Catholic who has been working in the area of post-abortion healing for seven years. “They seek to escape from a crisis pregnancy. They are panicked. They are desperate.”

The woman feels isolated from friends and family. She may have been pressured emotionally and financially by her partner or parents, according to Mrs. McNeil.

“They are convinced there is no help,” she said. “There isn’t an easy out once you get pregnant. They make the decision in a matter of days or a couple of weeks.”

And then they try to go on with life. For some, post abortion stress becomes post-abortion stress syndrome.

According to Mrs. McNeil, who with Anita Willoughby founded what is believed to be the first post-abortion healing group in the area seven years ago, post-abortion stress syndrome is a clinically recognized problem.

“It is a post-traumatic stress disorder, such as that experienced by Vietnam War veterans,” she said. The four characteristics are:

Stressor -- The abortion itself is perceived by the person to be outside the range of normal human experience.

Flashbacks – The person re-experiences the event or events in detail.

Avoidance – The person avoids things that might remind him or her of the experience, such as intimacy, medical facilities, pregnant women, articles like this one.

Associated Features – The person has suicidal thoughts and exhibits self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse, and/or clinical depression with its disabling sadness and sleep and appetite disturbances.

The syndrome, which Mrs. McNeil said can be recognized when post-abortion stress symptoms have been experienced for several months, can go on for years.

Mrs. McNeil, a mother of four children, has assisted approximately 70 women over the past seven years. The oldest woman Mrs. McNeil has assisted was 70 and had been experiencing symptoms for 40 years. The youngest woman she has worked with was 16 at the time she sought help.

After individual assessment women seeking help are usually referred to a Post Abortion Counseling and Education (PACE) group, Mrs. McNeil said.

The healing/study group consists of three to four women and a leader. The course is half Scripture study and half exploring the feelings about the experience. The group uses a workbook published by the Christian Action Council over the three to four months of meetings. About 25 women have completed the course at Catholic parishes.

“The course is broken down into the grief process,” Mrs. McNeil said. “The stages of grief include denial, anger, forgiveness, depression, letting go and acceptance. They need to grieve, but they have felt so guilty they haven’t allowed themselves to grieve, so all these behaviors result.”

“Other losses do not have the same magnitude of guilt,” she said. “Their biggest fear is that this is the one unforgivable sin.”

Mrs. McNeil said she observes remarkable personal growth during the PACE process which she attributes to God working through Scripture and two to three hours of weekly homework in addition to interpersonal dimension.

After weeks of meetings the women end the experience with a healing service where a priest presides.

Father Frank Richardson at Holy Family Parish and Father Cayet Mangiaracina, OP, at Holy Cross Parish have led such services.

Another priest with this experience is Father John Farrelly, pastor of Sacred Heart Church, Milledgeville. He described both the awkwardness and the opportunity with which the priest is presented in an edition of the St. Thomas Aquinas Pro-Life Ministry newsletter.

“I, as a priest, come in at the end of the process to conduct the healing service. I feel somewhat uncomfortable. I am the stranger in this small, close-knit community which has been fused together over the weeks when so much pent-up grief, guilt and pain gradually oozed out and was met with acceptance and healing love.

“I am also the lone male presence here and as my collar indicates, a representative of the Church’s authority, and so I tread softly.

“As we move through the healing service my heart is touched by the honesty and openness of these women, as they share not only the words of Scripture, but pray for their unborn children by name, baptize them with their tears and offer them back to God.

“My collar is, at this point, a special sign of the healing grace and acceptance of Christ and his church for these sisters of his. I know so clearly that Christ has called me to a sacrament of his reconciliation and healing presence.”

In a later interview, Father Farrelly said he believes in the “seamless garment approach” to life and has participated in a number of pro-life activities over the years.

Father Farrelly believes that women who have an abortion are trapped between judgmental pro-life workers and unsympathetic pro-abortion advocates.

“Where do they go?” Father Farrelly asked. “It’s part of the healing Christ would want us to do. I want those women to be reconciled with God and with the faith community. There’s a wholeness that can be brought about.”

“We need more emphasis on support for pregnant women,” Mrs. McNeil said. “The idea is not that you accept all behaviors, but that we accept all people.”

Father Farrelly pointed out that while priests are an important, thought small, part of the post-abortion healing process, this process is being led and nourished by lay people.

“The lay people are responding to this crisis,” he said. “It’s a grassroots approach. They are not looking to the clergy to lead it. It’s wonderful.”