By Kathi Stearns

Registered nurses Molly McGoldrick and Amy McBride won't receive the gift they really want this Christmas. Neither will their terminally ill cystic fibrosis patients at Egleston Children's Hospital at Emory University. Unfortunately a cure for cystic fibrosis has yet to be wrapped up by doctors.

However, on Christmas Day when both nurses take to the hospital floor, the gift they will exchange with these children is the gift of self. Sharing of self is the greatest gift that can be offered by anyone and encompasses the true meaning of Christmas.

Amy McBride, a parishioner at Our Lady of the Assumption, explained that since she began work at the hospital three years ago, she sees Christmas through the eyes of her patients. "For some of our kids everyday is Christmas since it is another day of life," she explained.

Even though her patients are young, she believes that their illness provides them with a deep understanding and unique perspective about life. "They don't take anything for granted because they don't know if there will be a tomorrow."

Ms. McGoldrick, a parishioner at the Cathedral of Christ the King, explained that the life of a cystic fibrosis child can be compared to the journey of Mary and Joseph. Not knowing exactly where their journey would lead them, they continued onward full of faith and hope. "(The children) like the star of Bethlehem can become a light in a world of darkness," Ms. McGoldrick said.

Darkness, however, can often precede the light. During each of the 1991 and 1992 holiday seasons three children on the 17-bed floor died. This year since Thanksgiving, four children have succumbed to the chronic progressive disease which causes lung damage. Children are born with the hereditary disease which is caused by a genetic defect.

"For us the holiday season is rough. There are not a lot of happy memories and at times we experience periods of great fear and desperation," Ms. McBride said. "But these kids are a constant reminder that all of us need to be grateful and appreciative of the life which we have been given. For no one knows how long it will last."

"Yet in death, a new life begins," Ms. McBride continued. "And it is a life without suffering. That is what we hold onto."

"We rely on each other to get us through the periods of darkness. The other nurses are a living witness to the strength of God's unconditional love ... Our strength doesn't come from individual talents, it comes from God and is continually enhanced by our fellow nurses," Ms. McBride explained.

Both nurses feel that their Catholic faith gives them the assurance that death is not final. "I always rely on (faith), just because I can't find anything else to explain why a young child would die," Ms. McGoldrick said. "You have to be able to give them the hope that there is a loving presence who will greet them in death."

During the holidays Ms. McGoldrick feels it is important that the children she works with experience joy and a sense of family if they are required to spend Christmas in the hospital. "You try to make it the best day you can for them. The kids become my family on Christmas."

Christmas trees are located on every floor of the hospital and children's rooms are decorated in the spirit of Christmas. On Christmas Eve hospital volunteers place wrapped gifts in their rooms. Children awake Christmas morning with gifts by their bedside.

Some of Ms. McBride's friends have told her that Christmas is overrated. "To me that is so hopeless, it is like they are missing the whole spirit ... The kids have taught me that the spirit of Christmas is about reflection, sharing and watching the miracle of life and the whole idea of salvation," she said.

"That is what we are able to give these kids on Christmas Day and that is what each of us should be giving each other year round."