By Susan Stevenot Sullivan

Advent is a time of waiting in darkness for the light, of preparing anew to receive the gift of the Lord's presence.

Gini Eagen has experienced waiting in darkness at many times in her life. Each time she has also experienced the coming of Emmanuel, "God With Us."

On Good Friday in April, 1979, Mrs. Eagen and her husband, Dennis, identified the body of their eldest child, David, the 16-year-old victim of an auto accident.

The Mass of Christian Burial was on Easter Monday; that Friday their daughter Lisa received the sacrament of Confirmation in the same church with the same congregation and even the same flowers.

The presence of the Lord, made flesh for the Eagen family in the support of Corpus Christi parishioners, became a foundation of strength as darkness continued to lay siege to their lives.

The following week, Mrs. Eagen had major surgery. While she was still in the hospital one of her other sons was rushed to another hospital with a life-threatening illness which required emergency and other subsequent surgery. A few months later, Mrs. Eagen returned to the hospital for removal of a tumor on her neck which threatened the nerves on the right side of her face.

"It was in that time of being vulnerable and helpless that I had the greatest strength. I was allowing the Lord to work -- and that was where the strength was. People are given tremendous strength when they need it," she said.

The Eagens had moved to Stone Mountain from York, PA, less than two years before their son was killed, yet the parish members responded as a closeknit, loving family.

"I would never have survived without all the love and presence people offered. It gave me a new awareness that being with someone in a crisis is the most important thing," Mrs. Eagen said.

"Don't worry about the right words -- there aren't any. Don't worry about fixing it -- you can't. I appreciate the people who didn't try to fix me."

She said that during those painful times, she felt everything she had been taught about God's presence was confirmed. The Advent promise of God's presence and help was fulfilled in her time of emptiness. She had a sense of being cared for which helped to minimize the fear.

"I saw, in the response of other people, the God present in them reflected in our lives," she said.

As a result of the support from her church family, Mrs. Eagen became more and more involved in the life of the parish. In 1986, the pastor offered her a full-time job. She coordinates the adult education program and the parish outreach program. The outreach program helps families in all types of crises, short and long-term.

"I think it's really important to have someone there to reach out to people in a time of crisis," she said. "I'm not afraid of the feelings of people who need help. I've cried with people and that's okay."

There are days when tears for her son still flow. The tree that was damaged in the fatal accident, which took the lives of three other young men, still stands, scarred but alive.

"When I first saw the tree I thought, 'That's how I look inside.' I'd go back and see the tree and pray that it wouldn't die," she said. "Now I go back and look at the scar and see that the tree bears fruit -- pine cones. I feel connected to it."

She wrote a reflection about the time she shared with her son. It captures images of birth and growth, of a life that ended in youth, and the sorrow shared with another mother on Calvary.

Mrs. Eagen said she looks at all of life as a learning process, as preparation for the next manifestation of the Lord. She believes prayer can happen in quiet moments in the early morning as well as in the constant interruptions and challenges of her ministry.

During the busy Advent season, when spiritual preparation may be minimized while energy is expended meeting the holiday expectations of others, action can be a prayer.

"Just about anything can be your prayer," she said. "It's about staying connected with God."

"My perspective about everything is how blessed we are in this moment. You have this day, this hour to treasure the people in your life. Loving is important, because you never know when it may all turn upside down," she said.

Advent is a special time to recreate the openness and vulnerability that allow God to come into your life, she said.

"I think preparing for the coming of Christ calls us to allow ourselves to be helpless and vulnerable before Him, to make room for Him to be recognized anew within us."

Recognizing the presence of God in oneself and in others is a task easily visualized in the Eucharistic celebration. It is a task which must be carried out through the events of each day, she believes. Those events may involve joy or tragedy.

"We are not called to be comfortable," Mrs. Eagen said. "Faith development involves struggle. Finding a balance, finding the presence of God, presents a challenge in every moment of daily life."

Preparing for the coming of the lord is a task renewed at each Advent, at each turning point in our lives, at each night spent in expectation of dawn.