By Paula Day

Family, parishioner, priests and friends gave Father Ken Bayer, MSFS, an affectionate and teary-eyed farewell Oct. 1.

Well before the 10:30 a.m. funeral liturgy began, people crowded into St. Patrick's Church in Norcross where Father Bayer had served as pastor the past four years.

Monsignor Edward Dillon, VG, was the principal celebrant for the mass. Father John DeVore, MSFS, and Father Joseph Mullakkara, MSFS, parochial vicars at St. Patrick's; Father Martin Kopchik, MSGS, and Father Joe Thevenet, MSGS, of St. Lawrence; Father Joe Fahy, CP, Father Carlos Riofrio and Father Patrick Kingery were the main concelebrants. Archbishop John Donoghue, who had attended the vigil service the preceding evening, was unable to celebrate the Mass because of a prior commitment in North Carolina.

Father DeVore began his homily by nothing that many people had approached him saying they were Father Bayer's best friend.

"How many 'best friends' can you have?" the priest wondered, realizing the comments demonstrated Father Bayer's impact on those close to him. Others expressed concern of Father DeVore's loss.

"I wanted to shout back, 'I haven't lost him. I know where he his. I hope he hasn't lost me!'" Father Bayer had been mentor to the parochial vicar, helping him in his religious vocation. He also had a firm hand on the parish helm, mapping and directing liturgies and ministries.

At the close of the liturgy, members of the Bayer family thanked the parish for their warmth and welcome. They reflected on the happy memories they had of their Georgia visits.

Kenneth Bayer, the priest's father, responding to the request for a eulogy said, "Eulogy! You are the eulogy. The people of this parish are the eulogy. Your presence is the eulogy."

Those who had worked closely with the priest at St. Patrick's recalled his dedication to the priesthood, the Church and its people.

"He was a man and a priest of great passion," said Frances Kummer, director of religious education. "He laughed passionately. He cried passionately."

"He was also, I think, a real visionary," she said. "He saw very clearly what Church should and could be. That caused him unrest. He could never settle for less than giving everything he had. Central to his life was his priesthood and central to that was the celebration of Eucharist. It was more than communion. It was fully communal."

"He was fully human with his weaknesses and strengths," Mrs. Kummer added, "and people knew it. He didn't hide his humanity."

Catherine Marchman, administrative assistant at St. Patrick's, recalled that the priest dealt with "a lot of life's ups and downs with his sense of humor. We're going to miss his leadership and his sense of church. I hope we learned enough from him in the time we had with him to have a good foundation to go on."

"He gave of himself to the parish," observed Barbara Underwood, who, as parish secretary and receptionist, saw Father Bayer daily for four years.

"No matter how busy he was, he found time whenever someone needed hope or encouragement. He left his mark on everyone. He was always very kind. He worked too hard, I know that. He seldom had time for himself."

"Doctors tell us Ken died of leukemia," reflected Father Marty Kopchik, MSFS, at a wake service the night before the funeral Mass. But the fellow priest and pastor disputed that diagnosis. "Ken died of love," he said. "Ken died giving himself so completely that his work was finished and God took him."

Known throughout his life and ministry as a vigorous, challenging man and priest, his temperament did not change when it came to his illness and bone marrow transplant, Father Kopchik said.

"He didn't want to take any safe roads ... He wanted to be strong for the Lord ... He was willing to burn himself to nothing for us because he loved the Lord."

He had a dream of bringing 100 priestly vocations into the Missionaries of St. Francis de Sales in his lifetime. Father Kopchik and Father DeVore both credit him with influencing their decisions to join the religious order.

"Outwardly he died of many complications (of his illness and treatment), but (in fact) he used himself up," Father Kopchik said. "May his spirit come upon our communities to make us live the Gospel as authentically (as he did)."

At the beginning of the wake service, Father Bayer's parents and nine brothers and sisters, with their spouses and children, entered the full church and filled three front pews.

Speaking to them, Father Kopchik said, "We owe you a debt of gratitude ... Ken came out of you, out of your love, out of your laughter, out of your goodness."

Father Bayer, who came from this large St. Louis family, also became a part of many other families through his priesthood.

Rolland and Diane Gaasch and their four children met Father Bayer through Marriage Encounter, the movement he served as a regional leader and as a team priest. A common background sparked their initial conversation, which led to a friendship that has lasted 18 years.

They lent him use of a condominium in Colorado a year ago when he went to "wrestle with God" over his diagnosis of leukemia. They were among those with him when he died at Emory Hospital.

Their grown son, Tim, recalled a night many years back when Father Bayer was studying at Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. During a sudden family emergency, Tim, 13, had to be left at home in charge of his brothers and sisters in the middle of the night. Worried, he decided to call Father Bayer and finally tracked him down using directory assistance. "We talked for a half hour," Tim recalled. "It was probably two o'clock in the morning."

This year Father Bayer helped Tim and his wife, Susan, plan their wedding.

Having challenged Tim for years on many matters, from arm wrestling to theology, there was no surprise when he challenged them to read and study books and material before deciding details of their wedding liturgy.

"We started (meeting) at three o'clock in the afternoon and left at nine o'clock at night," Tim recalled.

They were able to plan a wedding that celebrated "the coming together of the two families," Mrs. Gaasch said. "It was beautiful."

Rolland Gaasch recalled his friend as a great teacher. "He has a way of looking you in the eye, loving you, challenging you, and moving you down the road ... I always saw him as a teacher."

Father John Kelley had been a member with Father Bayer of a priests' support group and could always depend on his fellow priest's prayers and love. "I found a great deal of joy and peace in knowing him," Father Kelley remarked. "His service to his church was motivated by truth, justice, peace and love and I loved him very much. I still love him," Father Kelley added. "Life is not ended, just changed. My love for him is not ended, just changed."

Following the funeral Mass, the congregation quietly poured out into the bright October sunlight, forming an honor guard from the church to the interment site. The area, under nearby oaks, had been raked clean of pine needles and fallen acorns. There, after the final blessing, the body of Father Bayer was laid to rest.