By Rita McInerney

About 3,000 people a year are served by the Office of Family Concerns, Mary Ellen Hughes, director, told the convocation of priests October 30. The only fulltime person in the office, Ms. Hughes, who has headed it since 1978, has two part-time staff members and 150 “incredible” volunteers.

Under its wing are the marriage preparation programs used by most couples who marry in this archdiocese and other workshops that assist families in remarriage and single parents, and teach natural family planning.

One concern voiced in a question-and-answer session at the convocation was whether the popular one-day, six-hour pre-Cana workshop given by the office is adequate time for marriage preparation.

Currently pre-Cana is offered 20 times a year and usually has its maximum of 39 couples signed up. Pre-Cana is geared to couples embarking on their first marriage and the average age of participants is 25 for men and 23 for women.

Among those questioning whether the time was adequate for preparing the couples for marriage was Father Louis Naughton, vice officialis of the archdiocesan marriage Tribunal. He asked his brother priests to work with Ms. Hughes to provide more extensive preparation.

The concern was voiced by several priests, while other said the condensed structure helps accommodate many couples for marriage preparation and relieves a burden on parish priests.

Ms. Hughes admitted her office also struggles with the question and urged the priests to let her know what is needed. “How do you deal with people not too open at that time to your input?” she asked the priests.

In an interview following the convocation, Ms. Hughes said she appreciated the concern and knowing that priests and the staff are aware of the same issues. As a result of the discussion, she said, she is bringing all the people who make pre-Cana presentations to two January brainstorming sessions. The people who make those presentations, all volunteers, include priests, married couples and experts in areas such as finances and natural family planning.

The January sessions are unlikely to change the one-day approach to pre-Cana, she said, but some modifications of structure that would emphasize more personal contact with couples can be made.

While problematic in certain ways, pre-Cana, she said, is very helpful for engaged couples who are not both living in the state and need to schedule marriage preparation time around travel and work. Even couples from portions of north Georgia need the one-day format because of travel distances.

Marriage preparation’s importance is made problematic by the fact that engaged couples often are “in the romantic stage and are not anticipating problems,” she observed, making them less interested in and open to extensive preparation time.

While one priest at the convocation suggested that a marriage date should be given a couple only after their preparation was done, another priest pleaded that, “we get back to basics,” and to the right of people to receive the sacraments in their parishes. “We need to be very careful,” he observed and not make regulations “too hard for people. They’re walking out the door.”

The Office of Family Concerns also works with several other forms of marriage preparation. Three times a year the office has training session for Sponsor Couples, couples in parishes who volunteer to work over a period of several months with an engaged couple or couples in a mentor fashion. Training for Sponsor Couples extends over four or five sessions.

Father Ed Everitt, OP, pastor of Holy Cross parish, called the Sponsor Couple program “an incredible addition” to the parish, lauding its effect. He asked whether it could be broadened to incorporate guidance on “the dating games” of high school students.

Ms. Hughes answered that the office takes a family-oriented approach to sexuality and works with parents and grandparents of teens.

She mentioned that FOCCUS, a pre-martial test that is also being used in the archdiocese and for which the office sponsors training, is drawing “excellent feedback.” The program is proving to be a good tool, she said, with its emphasis on raising children in the Catholic tradition.

Not sponsored, but encouraged by the archdiocesan office is Engaged Encounter, a popular weekend marriage preparation program built on the Marriage Encounter model.

The office also presents workshop 11 times a year. This attracts from 10 to 15 couples each time, either already remarried or contemplating remarriage. It helps them shed the ghosts of their past marriages and gives them insight in step-parenting each other’s children.

Three times a year the office makes available a single-parent workshop geared to help support those raising a family alone. This is usually attended by 10 to 12 people.

In addition, the office has four teachers trained in natural family planning who instruct classes at St. Joseph’s Hospital, and is an umbrella over Retrouvaille, the program conducted by volunteer couples and priests for troubled marriages. Retrouvaille, or Rediscovery, is offered three times a year.