By Rita McInerney

Earlier this month Pam and Rich Fagan found themselves in a rare situation.

Their sons, Patrick, nine, and Colin, seven, were off to camp for two weeks. The pregnant teenage girl staying with them had given birth and returned to her family. “It’s the first time Rich and I have been without children in the house in nine years, since we had our first child,” Mrs. Fagan explained.

The Fagans are a host family for Crisis Pregnancy and Adoption Services, an agency of Catholic Social Services. In four years they have welcomed seven pregnant girls, 14 to 21 to their Vinings home.

“They provide unconditional love from the begin,” Mary Walsh said. A counselor with Crisis Pregnancy, show works closely with the Fagans. “They make no judgments, give birth support. They are very much role models. The girls can relate to them as peers.”

The Fagans became interested when Rich brought home a bulletin from Holy Spirit Church which carried an appeal for families. They contacted Sister Mary Jacobs, CSJ, then in charge of Crisis Pregnancy, and she came out to talk with them.

“We became concerned when five or six months passed and we hadn’t heard anything. We wanted to get involved,” Pam Fagan recalled. Then Sister Mary brought a young girl and her family to their home to talk with them. That was the beginning. Four years later, their dedication to supporting troubled young girls during pregnancy is undiminished.

The decision to stay with the Fagans is made after the girl and her family visits them for a “get acquainted” meeting. The girls are usually terrified over what’s happening to them, being taken out of their environment and coming to live with strangers, Pam Fagan said.

The Fagan home, roomy and cheerful, welcomes strangers. Its family quickly embraces the newcomer as one of them. “For the most part, the girls just settle in,” Mrs. Fagan has found. “The boys are very accepting. Most are like a big sister to them.”

“You’ve got to love them, feed them, give them shelter. It’s most important to love them without judgment,” she said. “Many come with guilt. They don’t want their siblings, their friends, their church or neighbors to know. The most overwhelming sense of guilt comes when they realize ‘What am I doing to my family?’”

The Fagans’ total focus is family, their children and others. Rich coaches Little League and basketball and they helped organize the Children’s Friendship Project for Northern Ireland. One Summer they entertained four youngsters from that strife-ridden country. Over three years they've enjoyed having eight Irish children in their home.

“A private room is a must” for the young girl awaiting the birth of her child, according to Pam Fagan. “They need a place for their own space. They spend a good amount of time thinking. And we spend a lot of time talking.”

One of the seven young girls they have sheltered kept her baby. “Another kept hers for a short time, but realized she couldn’t parent,” Mrs. Fagan said.

The Fagans find the girls add a lot to the household. She, a native of Texas, had two brothers but no sister. Rich, an attorney, is from New York. He had three brothers and a sister.

Some of their girls had considered abortion. “But they realized that was the easy way out. All of them have been strong enough and moral enough to realize they couldn’t live with themselves if they did. By having the baby they have not chosen the easy way but the hardest way they could go,” she said with admiration.

The girls, mostly middle class, white and black, have come from several areas around metropolitan Atlanta. Three have been from more distant places.

“The only thing I expect them to do is keep their room and bath clean. I do the vacuuming for them. Often they ask if they can help me start dinner.” Life in the Fagan household is “not very structured,” she admitted. Neighborhood young people are in and out during college breaks and summer vacation and there is always activity in the downstairs playroom.

Do the girls remain in contact after they leave the Fagan haven? “I keep in touch only if they want to keep in touch. As much as I love them, I don’t feel they should have to carry friendship over if they don’t want to. Often they want to put this period out of their mind,” the outgoing young mother recognized.

“Once they leave and start back on their feet physically and emotionally, they want to close on that period of their life. The parents call and keep me abreast. I appreciate that. You can’t have a person live with you without becoming part of the family. And it’s wonderful to see them get on with their lives.”

When the girl gives her baby up for adoption she can return to the Fagans for a time to get her life back in order. “It’s hard for them, like dealing with a death,” Mrs. Fagan said. “We tell them Mary (Walsh), Rich and I are here to give you what you need. It’s OK, you’re expected to grieve.” Ms. Walsh, she said, is warm and loving, yet firm with the girls. “They can relate to her, they can talk to her.”

Pam Fagan is convinced of the value of host homes. “The Catholic Church needs people, their time, support and money. Anyone who has the time and the room will find it can’t do anything but enrich their lives and the young girl’s. We have loved the girls and getting involved in their lives has enriched our family,” she said. “When you see them resume their lives, get back into school, you can’t help but feel that you had a small part.”

Mrs. Fagan is eager to see more people who have to get involved in helping the parents cope. We need people to take the girls to their doctors’ appointments. There’s an incredible amount of time spent there and getting there. Is there someone out there with Lamaze training, an RN, to talk to the girls? Videotapes don’t answer the questions they have and the doctors don’t have time.”

“I can help the girls because I’ve given birth,” she went on. “They need someone to be there to calm their fears, answer questions.” Her eyes mist as she goes on. “I think about them going through this as teenagers. They need support so desperately. They need to be fully aware of all the options. If more girls knew they had this option, there would be fewer abortions.”

The Fagans have a basic, sound reason for devoting so much of themselves to young girls who come into their lives. She puts it in loving terms. “Children are our passion. Whatever you have to do to give them a chance, you do.”

This is the third and last article on what aid the Catholic Church in Georgia is offering pregnant women.