By Paula Niche

St. Pius X High School initiated a peer helper program in November to help teens with their difficulties and problems. The program takes advantage of the naturally strong relationships among teens and their tendency to confide in one another.

Under the guidance of Chris Hand, counselor, and Martha Gaynoe, campus minister, the program involves eight students from each of the four grades. The 16 girls and 16 boys were picked from names submitted by the student body. In a survey, students were asked to identify other students they trusted and found to be good listeners. Mrs. Hand said it was not difficult to select students from those submitted who have different personalities, are from a variety of backgrounds and are involved in a range of school activities.

Initially the expectation of some students was the peer helpers would “be a goodie, goodie group,” Mrs. Hand recalled, “and some wondered if they would be going around saving everybody.” The adult advisers clearly made the point that the student body as a whole had suggested those selected because they were trusted listeners.

During a retreat in November, the peer helpers sharpened their listening skills, explored ways to communicate and learned both how to assess situations and the importance of knowing their limitations.

They learned to distinguish between a problem, a crisis and an emergency. That they are not counselors was emphasized. They were to “hand off” a situation that was too big, required more knowledge and skill, or involved them in something they were uncomfortable with.

“We’re asking them to be the friends that they are,” Chris Hand explained. “They have to know their limits and know what they can’t handle.”

Paul McIntosh, a peer helper from the junior class, recounted a typical situation. “Late one evening, about 11, a girl called me. She was depressed - crying - some kind of family trouble, and was thinking about running away. Something to prove her point to her parents. We talked about an hour and I saw her the next day. We talked again, and she dropped the idea of leaving home.”

The peer helpers have a list of resources from both within and outside the school - people and places they can refer other students to. These include the school counselors and nurse as well as a suicide crisis hotline, a cocaine hotline, Birthright and rape crisis centers.

Steps in helping someone involve listening, identifying the symptoms, making a judgment about the seriousness of the problem, their role in helping, and making a referral. To safe-guard confidentiality, peer helpers try to convince their troubled friend to talk about their situation with an adult. If this doesn’t work, the helper may make the referral by saying something of a general nature to a counselor like, “I wish you’d keep an eye on .. She seems troubled about something.”

According to Chris Hand, 12 students have been referred to her since the program began. Their problems ranged from depression and talk of suicide to experimentation with drugs to thinking about running away from home.

Those involved in the program are gaining from their participation, Mrs. Hand pointed out. “They are developing their skills at being better listeners, better friends and making better decisions themselves.”

Paul McIntosh agreed. “I generally tend not to show emotions. This has helped me to trust people more and kinda open up.”

Senior Julie Maschinot said the experience “makes me feel like I made a difference. I can change someone’s life or just their day.”

Martha Gaynoe, who coordinates the program with Mrs. Hand, commented, “One of the best qualities I see in St. Pius as a school is we do not deny our problems. We try to acknowledge them and deal with them in a loving and prayerful way. I think we’ve gotten this across to the kids. Everyone has problems and pain in their lives. By sharing, kids learn to appreciate this and realize they’re not alone.”