By Paula Day

October has been designated Respect Life Month by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops. Concern for life can take many forms. One is a concern for children who do not "belong to anyone" -- special children who are available for adoption.

Over 600 Georgia children are legally free and waiting for someone to adopt them. These "special-needs" children may be minority children or be part of a sibling group or have physical, emotional or mental handicaps; or just be too old -- over eight years old -- to fall into the category of children families usually consider for adoption.

In recent months, three parishes of the archdiocese, Our Lady of Lourdes, Saints Peter and Paul and St. Anthony have made a special effort to bring these children to the attention of their parishioners. The parishes have displayed posters and an album published by an organization called My Turn Now, a private, non-profit group formed in 1980 to facilitate the adoption of special-needs children. Its loose-leaf publication has pictures and brief background articles on each of the featured children.

One inspiration for focusing on special-needs children has come from Father Georgia Clements, a Chicago priest who adopted two older boys. His program, "One Church, One Child," proposes that in every parish one family adopt a special-needs child. The whole parish then supports the family's effort. Two Atlanta Catholic families who have adopted children witness to the value of this support in their lives.

Betty Lee Heisler Martin and her husband, David, are members of Saints Peter and Paul parish in Decatur. They adopted an 11-year-old son, also named David, in July. David's special needs are not unusual: affection, a stable environment, a family.

You have to be sure you're interested in special-needs adoption," Betty Lee Martin commented. "The vast majority of these children have been moved around. They've been abused, neglected, orphaned -- they're likely to have emotional problems."

Holy Cross parishioner Ann Bradley is a single parent who was 44 when she adopted "Sarah," age five. Early childhood deprivation is the most probable reason why her daughter has special education needs. She had only learned to talk just prior to her adoption. Ms. Bradley is certain her daughter is more intelligent than testing indicates, however.

About adopting, Ann Bradley admits, "you don't love the child when they walk in the door. That comes later. That grows. There's no instant love, but they really better appeal to you. I guess you call it chemistry.

"As a single person you really have to get in touch with yourself and why you're doing it. It's probably the most gratifying and hardest thing you'll ever do."

Although she doesn’t have the support of a marriage partner, Ms. Bradley nevertheless does feel supported -- supported by "Sarah's" former foster parents who now fill the role of grandparents for the eight-year-old; support from "Sarah's" godparents and from her Sunday school teacher at Holy Cross Church who has taken a special interest in the child.

This support, and special moments with "Sarah," help Ann Bradley meet the challenges of single parenting.

"I taught her to ride a bike and she was so happy. I taught her to swim, and to blow bubbles and to whistle. I saw her the first time she saw a rainbow and she said, 'Oh Mommy, Mommy, that's what I've been waiting for!' and those are things you just don't forget."

Betty Lee and David Martin, too, have received support from the priests and parishioners at Saints Peter and Paul. The younger David is attending religious education classes and is "participating to the level of his ability," Mrs. Martin says. "We're eager to share our faith with him and I feel our parish community has welcomed us and he feels wanted. He feels a lot of acceptance there and that's important."

Speaking of their experience in adopting a child, Mrs. Martin admits she already "knew the ropes" and so the process took less than the usual 12 to 18 months. She is employed by My Turn Now and the couple found David's picture in an album similar to the one this organization publishes.

The Martins began the adoption process last January -- nine to 10 hours of preparation during which they explored the difficulties and pleasures of adoption, heard from other adoptive parents and children, provided information about their own situation.

In early May they traveled to the Midwest to visit the child they had selected. In June he visited them in Atlanta, and on July 28, the boy came to live with the Martins. In another six to 12 months, if all goes well, the adoption will be finalized.

David will be 12 in December -- a sixth grader who is at grade level. "He's a very affectionate child," Betty Lee Martin commented. "He started calling us mommy and daddy in about 10 days. He went with me to a conference where there were other adopted kids." The experience made him realize he wasn't the only adopted child in the world, according to Mrs. Martin.

To finally belong to someone is a particular need for many special-needs children. Once, while on a field trip with David and his class, Betty Lee Martin overheard another student ask David, "Is that your mom?" Later he checked, "You are my mom, aren't you?"

"He was so excited he could claim me," she added.

During the weeks between his arrival and the start of school, David helped out in My Turn Now's office. Director Kathryn Karp's offer to pay him was one more small but significant sign of acceptance for the boy.

In helping to put My Turn Now's album together, David read about other special-needs children and would remark, "This kid's just like me." My Turn Now is planning to publish a newsletter and David has volunteered to edit the children's page.

My Turn Now is not an adoption placement agency. The group's main function is to produce the album and update it on a monthly basis. They will also direct inquirers to those who can handle the adoption of a specific child featured in the album. Mrs. Martin adds that they will "coach parents on getting through the system. Basically we provide general information about available children as well as give support and guidance."

A study done at the end of June showed that 409 or 80 percent of the 500 names that have been removed from the album since its first publication in 1980 are names of children who have been adopted. Other factors -- marriage, death, reaching 21, institutionalization -- account for the other 20 percent, according to Mrs. Martin. "A small percentage stay in the book very long. Most are in and out in two years," she added. "Without the book they would have to go to foster care."

The organization exchanges albums and information about special-needs children with 25 states and receives inquiries from "all over." A U.S. map hanging in the office has color-coded markers: one color where Georgia children have been placed; one where parents are waiting for a child from Georgia; one for states having the Georgia publication and one color for states whose publications My Turn Now has on hand.

Over 500 albums from My Turn Now are in circulation. Two staff members and 30 volunteers update them each month. Groups such as the Decatur Coalition and members of Clairmont Oaks Retirement Home collate pages and help prepare the material for mailing.

Both Betty Lee Martin and Ann Bradley believe there are misconceptions about adoption and they feel these deter people from adopting. One misconception is that a person has to be young and married to adopt. Mrs. Martin and Ms. Bradley are over 40 and Ms. Bradley is a single parent.

Fear is another deterrent, according to Mrs. Martin, including fear of the evaluation process and of the background inquiry. The two women emphasized that this pre-adoption process was done with sensitivity and was most helpful to them.

And then there is the fear of being turned down, according to Ms. Bradley. She pointed out, however, that the caseworkers are realistic, knowing that life is not perfect, nor are the people who live it.

"I received very professional assistance in preparing for the whole adoption from my caseworker," Ann Bradley said, "and I still get her support. The caseworkers are very careful. They don't want to make a mistake. They don't try to slip anything past you."

Who can adopt? A pamphlet distributed by My Turn Now lists the following facts:

• Adoptive parents can be single, married, or divorced.
• They may already have raised a family or have never had children.
• They can own or rent a house, apartment, or trailer.
• They may have children close to the age they want to adopt.
• There is no minimum income level required; adoption subsidy and other government assistance is available.

Mrs. Martin added that there is a subsidy for professional help for children who may have adjustment problems. For children adopted through state agencies, the only fee connected with the process would be the adopting family's legal fees.