By Rita McInerney

(This is the last in a four-part series)

Sometimes, when you are older and frail, it’s best to leave the loneliness of a house inhabited by memories, or one alive with the noisy energy of children, and settle into a new life. Some of the 15 guests at Marian Manor arrived by these routes. Others came from small apartments or nursing homes.

At home at the Manor, they appear to be well settled and contented. To most, their contentment has a spiritual source. Ruth O’Mara, 90, a guest since the Manor opened in November, 1984, expresses it aptly: “The nice part about it is we’re under the same roof as the Blessed Sacrament.” The chapel is located up a few steps from the main floor of the Manor and residents visit there as often as they wish.

The first personal care home to be opened by the archdiocese of Atlanta is located in the former convent at Immaculate Heart of Mary parish, 2855 Briarcliff Road, N.E. Three men and 12 women are the “family” at the Manor. Their environment is serene as befits a home names to honor Mary. Their routine is unhurried, they are served by pleasant people concerned with making life as pleasant and calm as humanly possible. Visitors are welcome, volunteers are indispensable for both the service they offer and the socializing the guests enjoy.

How do the guests relate to each other? “They really get along well. There will always be conflicts because of the different backgrounds. But it’s amazing how they do get along. A few get on each other’s nerves. They stay away from each other,” says Sister Carol Bartol, G.N.S.H., daytime manager who keeps track of the guests, the kitchen, and keeping the washing machine filled with unhurried efficiency.

Socializing is mainly in the large lounge and the adjoining dining room. The lounge is comfortable with sofa and armchairs, television set, round table for cards and bingo, books on the shelves and good light for reading from the windows which give a view of the large, tree-shaded patio. A more formal living room, decorated in soft tones and giving prominent space to both a piano and small home organ, is just down the corridor.

The Manor is a large dwelling. Along with a bright and well-equipped kitchen and the rooms already mentioned, there are offices, and two bedrooms on the first floor. Upstairs there are 13 bedrooms; there are six bathrooms throughout.

Conversion from convent to personal care home was made possible through the generous response of Catholics to the three-year, $7.2 million campaign to expand the Church’s mission of service to the community which began in September, 1983. One goal of the fund drive was to create three personal care homes from under-utilized convents.

The other two convents proposed in the beginning were St. Thomas More in Decatur and St. Paul of the Cross in northwest Atlanta. Sister Teresa Termini, C.S.J., head of services to the elderly for Catholic Social Services, says the convent at St. Thomas More was ruled out some time ago as not appropriate, and St. Paul of the Cross convent “didn’t work out financially because the building was very inadequate and a lot of rebuilding had to be done.”

The second personal care home, she says, will be in the southwest area of the city. A feasibility study is now being made. As yet there is not site purchased or cost estimate available for a proposed one-floor structure.

Sister Teresa planned the conversion of the IHM convent. Work included installation of a security system, ramps, grab bars and other innovations to accommodate the elderly. The house was completely refurnished except for two large buffets in the dining room. They were handsomely restored by Sister Anne Souto, C.S.J., a teacher at the Village of St. Joseph, who also has expertise required to make minor repairs around the Manor.

Sister Teresa, whose education in the field of gerontology is ongoing, also served as first manager. She remains deeply committed to the smooth running of the home and the well-being of its guests. Staff is important, and “on the whole, we’ve had good luck,” she admits.

There is a warm bond, she says, between the men and women and Father Jacob Bollmer, executive director of Catholic Social Services. As a young seminarian he worked at a facility for the elderly in New York and since had dreamed of providing such a residence. He is a frequent visitor, celebrating Mass on Sundays, first Fridays and holy days. Many Sundays he is the man who stays for dinner.

Father Bollmer had song and liturgy booklets printed in large type for guests with failing eyesight. He knows their traditional preferences and includes some Latin and favorite hymns like “On This Day O Beautiful Mother” and “O Lord I am Not Worthy” in his liturgies.

Sister Carol has a daily Communion service in the small chapel before the main midday meal and residents recite the rosary together every Wednesday. The rosary is important to Mrs. O’Mara, who came to the Atlanta area from Braddock, Pa. to be closer to her son. “I like to keep it going,” she tells a visitor. “We have to promote it.”

There is quiet rhythm to days at the Manor, a visitor senses. Early risers can help themselves to cold cereals and juice and a hot breakfast is served between 8:30 and 9:30 a.m. Mornings are spent reading the morning paper, saying personal prayers in the privacy of one’s room, watching television in the lounge or in quiet conversation with companions.

Lillian Beitz, soon to be 95, had awakened early in anticipation of the arrival that day of her sister from Buffalo, N.Y. They would be going out to lunch and both would stay at her daughter’s house for the few short days of her sister’s visit. When sister Carol asked her to play the piano for the Georgia Bulletin reporter, she obliged with a poignant “Home, Sweet Home,” the only tune she still felt confident about. She hoped that it wouldn’t make any of the others homesick if they happened to hear her play.

Big meal of the day is served to the guests at midday. On this day, cook Charles Cave was preparing Veal Supreme that smelled as tempting as a choice from a good Italian restaurant. It was to be accompanied by steamed cabbage and rice. Dessert would be the sweet and juicy watermelon being seeded and cubed by IHM volunteer Marie Do and substitute night manager Dorothy Smith.

Mrs. Do is a regular Tuesday and Thursday volunteer. Along with helping in the kitchen she visits with the guests, writes letters for them and sometimes takes one to the doctors. Another faithful IHM volunteer, Carleen Bollinger, was concentrating on making up a list of needed food supplies before heading for the supermarket.

IHM volunteer Pete Baxter would be in after dinner to get the afternoon card games going. He leads this diversion every Tuesday and Thursday much to Sister Carol’s delight. It can be hard getting such an activity started, she says, and the residents do enjoy playing the different games and bingo.

Winnie Dienst will join the poker players. Mrs. Dienst, who says she was born in 1898, has a lot to contribute, Sister says. “Her great sense of humor is appreciated by other residents.” Sometimes, Sister adds, she will entertain them with stories of her fishing outings on Long Island with her late husband. Winnie baited her own hooks and cleaned the fish she caught. “I wanted my husband to enjoy it” she says matter of factly about not being a helpless, clinging vine partner in their marriage.

She was living in Westchester County, N.Y., when she became sick and her niece brought her to Atlanta. “Winnie had a hard time. She didn’t want to leave her home in the north,” Sister Carol says. Now, Winnie says of the Manor staff, “They treat me very nice. I don’t think I’m any bother.”

Bernice Hassenauer came to the Manor recently after her efficiency apartment became too much for her to take care of. She learned about the Manor from the Georgia Bulletin that Sister May Jeannette Crosson, G.N.S.H., from the Cathedral of Christ the King, would give her new home although she admits to still feeling a little strange. Soon to be 91, she spends a lot of time in her room keeping up her correspondence with her large family, with 18 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren, she loves to write letters and to get them. Her family “all seem so much interested in the Manor.” She came here in 1979 from Chicago to be with her daughter in Chamblee.

Native Atlantan Edward Schanno, 89, is the last of a family that was among the original parishioners at St. Anthony’s. As a youngster, he was a pupil of Sisters of St. Joseph at the Loretto convent on Pryor Street. This bachelor has an “adopted family” who visit him every week. There is pleasure in his voice as he tells of the woman from IHM who began bringing her children to visit him. “They took to me, I took to them. It was wonderful.” The husband gave him a TV set for his room after he tested Edward’s old set and found it would cost too much to repair. He even readied it for the cable, Edward says.

Eventually his “family” was transferred. But “she spoke to a friend about me” and they “adopted” him. His second family has three boys and two girls. “They invite me to their house for dinner. All the children like me, thank God. She took me over to the Cathedral last week for the shindig they had there (the senior citizens Mass and reception).”

The newest arrival, Catherine Ferchaud, is also the youngest. She is 67 and came to the Manor about two months ago. A widow, she and her late husband celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary before he died. The youthful-looking Catherine admits that the first day she came she “wrote Sister a letter saying I was leaving in 30 days.” She reconsidered and now says, “You live here as you want to live in your own home.” She finds satisfaction in helping some of her seniors. “Emotionally, it’s done me a lot of good.”

A number of the residents found their way to the Manor after leaving homes in distant cities and moving here to be close to family members. Filamena Quattrocchi left her home in Philadelphia to be with her two sons in this area. A guest since the home opened, “God sent me right away,” she says of her arrival.

Kate Franke, 87, another original guest, is positive about “our friend” Sister Teresa and the staff at the Manor who “try to do everything they can for us.” Isabelle Weir, 82, from Cleveland, Ohio, says the friendliness at the Manor means a lot to her. A retired school teacher, she hasn’t lost her interest in keeping up with the rest of the world. But nowadays she keeps current through television rather than the printed word. Her nephews live nearby and she shares holidays and birthdays with them. “They take me wherever they’re going.”

Mrs. O’Mara spends a lot of time in her cheerful room saying her rosary and devotions. Along with the prayer books and prayer cards she can’t seem to throw away there is a Spanish language book. “God blessed me with good health and a good mind.” She varies her activities, doing some of the readings, along with Isabelle Weir, in the chapel. She is learning to play poker although she can’t sit for too long at a time in her wheelchair without becoming too uncomfortable. Whatever her affliction she accepts it as the Lord’s will, she tells her visitor.

Sister Teresa says family interaction is encouraged, without any rules on visitation for family and friends. And there is more stimulation brought by volunteers. Here the intergenerational links are beneficial and scouts, IHM and Pius students are among regular visitors the guests are happy to see. Cub scouts from IHM are growing vegetables in a small plot alongside the Manor for eventual use on the guests’ table.

Marsha Bond, social worker at the Manor, handles the admitting procedure which is thorough. Prospective guests are asked to fill out an extensive questionnaire, submit reports from their personal physicians and agree to a visit to the prospect’s home by Marsha and a nurse to determine how the individual operates in a family situation.

A file is kept on each guest complete with telephone number for the guest’s personal doctor and members of the family. There is round-the-clock supervision. Cost ranges from $450 to $900 monthly, Sister Teresa says. “It depends on the economic situation of the person. In most cases, the family does help pay.”

The Manor is fulfilling its purpose, to keep elderly people from being institutionalized prematurely. It is doing this in a pleasant and relaxing setting, with caring and attentive staff and a varied group of volunteers to bring wider dimensions to the daily routine. All this was made possible, Sister Teresa emphasizes, by the generous people of the archdiocese. “They keep giving. They’ve made the Manor possible. And there is such a need.”