By Msgr. Noel C. Burtenshaw

Here’s the blasphemous riddle: “What’s the difference between Father Theodore Hesburgh and God? Answer. God is everywhere. Hesburgh is everywhere except Notre Dame.”

The Notre Dame alumni will fight you on that outrageous offering. They will readily admit that “Father Ted” is everywhere, but his presence is forever felt on the famous Indiana campus. As a matter of fact, many of them say that their famous president IS Notre Dame.

Thirty-three years ago, at the age of 35, this brilliant maestro became conductor of the Notre Dame community. Even at that time its fame was splashed across every football heart in the nation. But it was a small college of less than 5,000 men. Today, while still a hopeful haven for football mania, it is a center of academic toughness rivaling any offensive line, totaling almost 10,000 men and women.

“It should never go over 10,000,” said Father Hesburgh last week as he visited the Atlanta alumni. “Over 10,000 would mean that Notre Dame could no longer be a family.”

There you have reason for Hesburgh’s love of his school. It is his family. And he works long hours, travels untold miles and is ready for any performance to keep her the best.

“This guy in Florida gave me a million dollars for a professorship,” said Hesburgh while he lunched with officers of the alumni at the fancy Ritz-Carlton. “Of course, everything has its price. He said you’ll have to come down and celebrate my birthday with me. I said if you’ll give Notre Dame a million bucks, I’ll celebrate with you in outer space.”

His name is connected with presidents and popes, with projects and proposals, he is friendly with reds and Reaganites, but always his topic is Notre Dame -- its excellence, always its excellence.

“Do you know,” he asks an alumni who is implying that too many young people are turned away each year from Notre Dame upon application, “that my nephew was turned away. It’s tough to get in and it’s tough to stay in. My niece was accepted. She had a 3.9 average in high school for four years. After one semester in Notre Dame she gets a 2.7. She’s crushed. I told her to get a little less social.”

But his demands for excellence have paid off. “The state of colleges in the nation today is terrible,” he says. “One half of every college class does not graduate. Last year every single senior who began the year graduated at Notre Dame.” He explains his vision for the University. “We need to create moral leaders for the community and at the same time have academic excellence.”

Father Theodore Hesburgh, who is an alumnus of Notre Dame, was ordained a priest there on the campus in 1943. His talent for public service has been recognized by the last five Presidents. Each has appointed him to service positions for the nation. However, it is not a President but rather a President’s wife whom he praises when he speaks about politics. “Rosalyn Carter is some lady,” he says. “I worked with her on the Cambodian crisis back in 1978. Through her efforts, and she almost stood alone, the lives of a million refugees were saved. She’s some lady.”

He admits he was close to the Carter administration and was especially active in the Johnson administration, but when asked about the Reagan era he simply says, “They think I’m too liberal but not on theology. I say my prayers every day.” Hesburgh is a stocky, tough-looking, attractive man, has great praise for Atlanta’s Ted Turner. “He’s wonderful. I did a show recently on nuclear arms which involved experts from Soviet Union and other nations and Turner was the only one who would sponsor it. NBC, ABC, CBS -- none would touch it, but he put a million bucks up front for that show. Then he ran it eight times. He’s a great guy.” The Holy Cross priest, who is Notre Dame’s 15th President, has often expressed much concern for nuclear arms build-up. “The situation is frightening,” he says. “Hopefully nothing will ever happen by design, it is the accident you worry about -- and let me tell you, that’s a worry.”

“Take Nicaragua,” he continues. “Reagan is talking about more money for arms to put in the hands of the Contras. I was talking to the head of the Contras, he’s an alumnus, you know, I told him this fighting and killing is crazy. The only way this thing can be solved is through negotiations. He agreed.”

Does he believe the Sandinistas are Communists? “Of course they are,” is the reply. “But we can live with that providing they keep their philosophies to themselves. If they go around spreading it by force to their neighbors, that’s a different story.”

Another famous alumnus of Notre Dame from that same region is the President of El Salvador, Jose Napoleon Duarte. He will give the commencement address at Notre Dame in June. The Contras leader is Adolfo Calero, Jr.

In a most hesitant voice, an alumnus asks Father Ted about athletics at the school, especially the present critical situation of Jerry Faust, the unsuccessful head coach. There is sort of a hush as the question is asked. Hesburgh has made it known that he does not like to comment on the athletic program.

“Okay, okay,” he says, his hands flying excitedly in the air. “I’ll say a few things about football. My main point is always academic excellence at the school, but O.K., I’ll say this. I’m the one who hires the coach. I have three minutes with him just before he’s in. I tell him I want a clean program. No money under the table, no drugs and everyone graduates in four years. No red shirting.”

“In return, the coach gets a full contract, he can walk out if he likes, and many alumni would like Faust to walk away, but I will not fire him. I also promise to keep the alumni off his back. Look, I believe Notre Dame should win more than it loses, but I am more interested in a clean program. But after this year, we’ll look at his contract.”

“Listen,” he continues with a little fire, “the state of athletics in colleges of America is not in good shape and it is not in clean shape. Many football players never graduate. For heaven’s sake, the last five Heisman Award winners did not graduate. They all graduate at Notre Dame or they don’t play.”

Always Father Hesburgh is back to his family at Notre Dame. “The Holy Cross Order gets 30 vocations a year from the school,” he says proudly. “It’s a very fertile, spiritual situation. The dorm Masses are wonderful liturgical experiences. I had 16 of them last year. They were great, the music was great and if the homily was not great, they tell you. Late at night if you go the Grotto on campus, you find many students there in prayer.”

Thirty-eight percent of the almost 10,000 students, whose body for 100 years was all men, are now women. “We don’t want it any higher than that, but the applications for more female places are enormous. And we are strict at Notre Dame. We allow no co-ed dorms. Seventy-eight percent of all colleges, including Catholic colleges, have co-ed dorms and many of them now regret that policy. We have never allowed it and never will.”

Father Hesburgh travels the world each year for Presidents and international commissions. But he also travels for Notre Dame. “The cost of running a college is big and getting bigger. Sixty-five percent of all our students get financial aid. We give a hundred scholarships to Hispanic and Black students and all this costs money. Student aid last year amounted to $32 million. One of my jobs is to see we get it.”

Hesburgh, who will retire from Notre Dame in 1987, is perhaps the best known Catholic priest in America. He has definite ideas about the Church. “I hope that celibacy is always an important part of the priesthood,” he said. “But I have a problem when people cannot receive sacraments. The shortage of priests is too great. As long as we have religious orders that men can join, I suppose the element of the celibate life will be there.”

On the sisters and others who signed the New York Times ad in favor of abortion he said, “It was a silly statement and I don’t know why they signed it. But the reaction was silly too. The Bishops were handling it here in the States; I don’t know why Rome had to jump in.”

On ordination for women, he was “Hesburgh brief.”

“I’d do it in the morning, ordain one tomorrow and get the thing settled. Sure, I would.” On the outspokenly liberal Notre Dame faculty member, Mrs. Elizabeth Sehussler-Fiorenza, who has spoken out in favor of a pro-choice position on abortion along with taking other questionable stands, “She’s on two-year leave from Notre Dame. I don’t know if she’s coming back.”

On who the next president will be in 1987. “I don’t know. The trustees will pick him.” What does he mean “him?” Hesburgh gives you a lightning dart. “It has to be a Holy Cross priest, properly qualified. But I don’t know who he’ll be.” Everyone knows he’s bending the truth. Sure he knows.

Under Father Theodore Hesburgh, Notre Dame has changed. He has made it change. You still have the Gipper’s ghost there. Rockne still has the play up his sleeve, the fight song is still good for a few tears, the Four Horsemen still ride to Saturday afternoon glory, but change has come.

The alumni are like their famous President. They are tough, leader types, academic professionals, first in their fields and globe-trotters. That was his vision for them. That’s what his life’s work is about. It has rubbed off.