By Gretchen Keiser

When you have experienced rejection in one place, it is just the time when you need most to know that the people around you are still firmly there … that the community you’re a part of still accepts you.

For the divorced and separated Catholic, that need for affirmation can especially be felt in terms of a relationship with the church. Am I still accepted? Will I let myself be fully a member again, despite this experience of brokenness in one part of my life?

Much of that healing takes place within, according to those who minister to the divorced and separated, but the church in Atlanta also reaches out in particular ways to try and express a continuing family relationship. For about the last six years, one aspect has been a special liturgy annually, with Archbishop Thomas A. Donnellan as principal celebrant, that focuses particularly on the divorced and separated, with the liturgy celebrated in the evening at St. John Vianney Church in Lithia Springs.

About 150 people came together for the liturgy – members, friends and families from parish support groups for the divorced and separated that have formed in about 12 parishes. The groups vary in size and seem to ebb and flow as those who join move into the group while in need of special support and then move into other parish involvement, said Sister Lorraine Masucci, M.S., who serves as a coordinator for the archdiocese. She emphasizes ministry by the divorced and separated to one another, but serves as a facilitator who is willing to come and help a parish group get started. The archdiocese also sponsors retreats twice a year designed for the separated and divorced and held at the Ignatius House retreat center. The retreats often serve as the springboard for people forming parish groups, she said.

Faith Hils, one of two leaders of the group at St. John Vianney Parish, said she believes the groups provide important and needed support for those experiencing divorce or separation.

The pain of divorce can be especially devastating for Catholics who may feel that somehow they have violated Catholic belief when they experience the dissolution of their marriage, she observed. They may feel rejected by their church rather than consoled. While the church does not teach that, it is an attitude that people may have because they feel surrounded by a faith community of couples and families, or because they are the first in their family or circle of friends to experience divorce.

In such a situation, the groups provide a place within the church for the divorced and separated. “I think it’s important for people to realize they’re not alone,” Faith Hils said.

(Those interested in forming or joining a parish group may contact Sister Lorraine Masucci at 881-6131 for information.)