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By Gretchen Keiser
Set aside the pre-Christmas catalogues for a moment and imagine: a
book with pictures on every page of kids, little, big, some shyly looking at
the camera, others hammering it up with wide grins.
Underneath are their names and an age and a hint at the fullness
of the child posed in black and white; Donald, white, 13, but more important,
first place drummer in the band and in an accelerated program for the gifted;
Francine, 12, great dimples and bursting with energy; Theodore and Jesse, seven
and six-year-old brothers, black, cute and well-behaved and healthy; Stephanie,
four years old, a child with cerebral palsy who is now making progress and
beginning to walk with help.
You know, opening the book, that the kids inside have had a
struggle, so far, in life. What surprises isnt the details laid out
honestly about each of them, but how the data pales alongside the pictures.
They are beautiful kids.
You hear, now and then, that there arent very many kids
available for adoption anymore; or you might hear that the kids who are
available are older children or have physical handicaps. The remarks dont
do justice to the kids who are pictured. They make it sound as if it would be
difficult to love these children.
It is, perhaps, the first of many ideas about adoption that stop
people from taking the step.
Another, if people get beyond the first, is the notion that they
must appear to be ideal --in family structure, income, and a host
of other ways to be approved as an adoptive family.
There are different types of children, so we need all
different types of parents, said Ellen Cliburn, an adoption caseworker at
Child Service and Family Counseling Center on West Peachtree Street in Atlanta.
The agency, which is a private United Way agency, is involved in a number of
family and counseling services, including working with people who want to adopt
children. At any time there are several hundred children available for
adoption, Ms. Cliburn said.
In addition to working with young couples, who are traditionally
viewed as those seeking to adopt children, staff workers at the Center have
helped single people, both men and women, who wanted to adopt a child, and
older couples, who sought to adopt a child after their own family had grown up
and moved out.
All those people brought different strengths to the new family,
whether or not they seemed to fit the traditional mold, Ms. Cliburn said. Older
couples, for example, are experienced parents and they have a support
network around them in their children and grandchildren. And, as
testimony to the importance and power of love beyond all else in adoptive
families, she mentioned a couple who this year adopted through the agency a
child born with Downs Syndrome. In about four months time, the
childs vocabulary had grown eight-fold from 10 to 85 words, under the
care of her adoptive parents.
What were looking for are people who have the
maturity, she said. They feel good about themselves and are ready
to be parents.
You dont have to own a home and you dont have to
have so much money in the bank. Were looking for people who
can manage their income well and can provide for the basic needs of the
children.
There is a particular need for black couples or black single
people who would like to adopt a child. Black and biracial children of all ages
from infancy to school age are available for adoption. As the book of pictures
attests, there are also family groups of brothers and sisters, from both black
and white families, who need a home where they can be placed together. There
are school-aged children, both black and white, and children who were born with
a physical handicap, such as a problem with hearing or eyesight or a disabling
illness like cerebral palsy.
After the first phone call is made, a family that wants to adopt a
child has a series of meetings with a caseworker and with other families who
are considering adoption and parents who have already adopted a child to share
experiences. As the process continues, a meeting is arranged between the family
and the child they would like to adopt. If the family decides to adopt a child,
the agency continues contact with them to provide support for the new family,
Mrs. Cliburn said. Fees are on a sliding scale based on income.
While adoption had the reputation of being tied up in great
quantities of red tape, caseworkers at the agency are here to work with
people in not wanting to make it that kind of experience, Ms. Cliburn
said.
Our role is to help them build the family theyre
wanting. |