By Anita Willoughby and Sister Kate Reagan

Join me in prayer, parents, as we prepare ourselves and our children for the Christ-event. These are the impressionable years; what we say and do is the foundation for future acceptance (or rejection) of the Word-made-flesh. So, we must be careful!

In our prayer, let us reflect on what Christmas means, why we celebrate the event, and what the reality of God-becoming-man has brought into our lives.

In our enthusiasm to show what Jesus means to us, can we the adult, tenderly nourish our children in their growth, "in wisdom, age and grace?" We are aware of how learning takes place through experience, and that the child learns more by doing than by just hearing. To give elaborate explanations of Christ being both God and man, coming as Savior, King, Redeemer, is really beyond the young child's comprehension. To dwell on them and the deprivation of his surroundings will conjure the story as a fairytale.

Our approach must be authentic and simple, building upon the child's experiences. We want our children to realize that Jesus is special to us and is present in our lives. Our attitudes, reflected in the reverence and warmth with which we speak of Jesus, are the way we accept Jesus' values into our lives, convey His Presence. Parents can "catch" experiences where the presence of Jesus becomes relevant; these opportunities are realistic when they are built on his own experiences.

The time now before Christmas -- Advent is a time of waiting (so hard for children) and preparing (where learning takes place). So, as we await His coming, we prepare the way for the Lord. He continues to come through signs and symbols, people and events, the sacraments of life and the church. We look with hope, joy and anticipation to his coming in the fullness of the kingdom. Our waiting and preparing is a response to His Presence, who prompts us to service and prayer. But this truth the young child cannot grasp. Therefore, we avoid using the familiar expressions "Jesus is coming at Christmas" or "We must get ready for Jesus to come again this Christmas" because the child may expect his coming quite literally, like Daddy coming home or a visitor arriving. Preparing for Christmas is to allow the reality of God-with-us to be come conscious. This concept grows and deepens with opportunities of reflection and experiences.

The child's participation in traditional Advent activities help him appreciate the religious significance of Christmas. The value we place upon an event is evidenced by the attention and preparation involved. The children seem to look forward to lighting the Advent candle of the advent wreath. (You can tell, by how much they fight over whose turn it is.) Advent calendars -- either purchased or homemade -- allow for a surprise each day and can also remind us of the many ways God does come to us. A crib set that the children can handle and play with will help them experience the event as something real.

What is your Christmas story? Children love stories! Stories about when Mommy and Daddy were little, stories that are made up and stories that come from favorite books delight and reassure all children. Perhaps some new ones could be borrowed from the library or purchased from your local bookstore in preparation for the special time of Christmas.

Your "comments" and your "listening" reveal your attitude of joyful anticipation. Catching the moment (Salvation Army kettle, store decoration, etc.) where shared insights and feelings can deepen the appreciation for the coming celebration making the event more than just an observance.

One of the best opportunities for the child to express himself and how he is realizing the presence of Jesus is in the family prayer times or at nighttime prayer. These can be chances for him to reflect and verbalize the wonder, anticipation, expectation and thankfulness of Christmas and all that it holds for him. A developing relationship with Jesus and Our Father is encouraged by opportunities to imitate you in your prayer. So, we are careful that our words do not convey our theological image of God that could be interpreted by the child as a "magician" or "superman," but that our faith relationship with Jesus, the Son who leads us to God, who loves us like a Father.

Happy Birthday to Jesus! Christmas is Jesus' Birthday! A birthday concept is real for a child. The experiences of the birthday, those of his family, friends are very much a part of his life and can be grasped as real and special. In celebrating a birthday, the child encounters such concepts as waiting and preparing, giving and receiving (presents), family and friends (presence), cake and ice cream, lights and decorations. For the child, the presence of family and friends and the presents received are what really constitute the event and make it a special reality. Celebrating Jesus' Birthday can be celebrated as a member of the family's birthday would be celebrated. The children can participate in the preparation of the food, decorations, gifts, and "Happy Birthday to Jesus" cards can be sent to friends. All is done in the spirit of preparing, anticipation, remembering and giving.

Encountering the concept of "gift" is an essential value to be experienced. Both presence and presents are gifts. Gifts can be the giving of being, of doing, and the tangible giving of something. The meaning and significance of gifts, therefore, are deepened at Christmastime -- Christ's birthday. This concept of giving of self as gift is not necessarily intuitive, but something a child learns from others and participates naturally sometimes without realizing the significance. Helping your child get in touch with his feelings of joy in giving himself helps him realize this as a value. To force a child to give without coming to this realization is false and destroys the opportunity for the "gift of self" to be in love.

Just as parents recall the event of each child's birth and rejoice in his being present, so do we remember the Christ event and His very Presence with us today. Jesus' birth is very important to us, as Jesus is very special to us. God, Our Father, loves us so much that, besides the gifts of creation, wants us to know more about Him and how to live. Jesus shows us how to live, to love God and each other. He is God's Gift to us.

God's gift to us, His love, is celebrated in a special way each year, but Jesus' Presence with us today is experienced as the Resurrected Christ, not as the divine infant or baby Jesus. So we speak of Him as Jesus and talk of how He grew up as a little boy "your age," etc. We remember the impact He had upon the people of His day as an adult, and the impact He has upon the world as the Risen Lord. So, to speak of Jesus as if he were present in the manger crib would confuse the child into "pretending" rather than "remembering" the event, and the person of Christ. We celebrate Christ's birth each year and the crib is a reminder of that event -- (understood by the child) and of His Presence! -- a reality we grow into and appreciate more and more as we allow Him to become God-with-us.