By Sister Oenebiebe Sache, OSB

During the Christmas holidays I was able to spend a few days at home at our mother house (headquarters) in Alabama. On Christmas night our associate came to my room to talk. As an associate, this young woman lives with our community and joins in our prayer life as much as she can while she is working and going to college. She had chosen to spend Christmas day with us and was leaving early the next morning to spend the rest of the holidays with her family.

One of her comments struck me most forcefully as it reminded me of my own reactions to each great feast of the Church which I had celebrated for the first time with the community when I had just entered. She said, “I never realized how much commercialism had affected my concept of Christmas; I never dreamed there was so much depth to the liturgy of Advent and Christmas.”

In many ways, religious life, like marriage, must be experienced to be understood; moreover, that understanding deepens and grows each year, as does a good marriage. One of the major differences though is that most young people are very familiar with the day-to-day realities of marriage while they have little or no idea about convent life or seminary life except some vague notions which may or may not be correct.

One of the tragedies of our culture today which is reflected in the high divorce statistics is that so many young people get married simply because that is what all their friends are doing; it is not a choice of a state in life for which they feel themselves most suited. An intelligent choice is one which is made after consideration of the various alternatives, and that implies being adequately informed about the alternatives.

Too often I have heard women say after an unhappy marital experience that “God is punishing me because I should have been a nun and didn’t listen.” Not only is that poor theology, but the greater tragedy is that their vocational choice was made before they had investigated other choices, not just the single or the religious states, but also by dating more widely.

Much of the vocational counseling that I do is centered around just this specific problem of assisting the person to evaluate her talents and inclinations as to where they could be best utilized and she can best become the person God created her to be. This involves making sure she has a healthy attitude towards dating and marriage as well as helping her to find the religious community to which she is best suited if it does appear that she may have a vocation to the religious state.

Perhaps the greatest difficulty lies in providing the man or woman today with valid information about religious life and/or the priesthood so that their decision for or against that vocation can be a valid and intelligent decision. Most dioceses and religious communities have programs of information for those who are interested; their program is that they do not know the persons who are looking for just that information.

A weekend of discernment and information is being planned for the Alabama and Georgia area at Holy Trinity, Alabama, near Columbus, Georgia, in hopes of being able to provide some needed input for men and women who may be looking for direction in their vocational choice. Many times in considering a vocation in Church ministry, the person feels he is the only one who thinks that way. Such a weekend also puts him in touch with others engaged in the same search. Details of this weekend are found in this issue.