Fr. Jerry Hardy

I’ve been writing this column for several weeks now, aiming at parental attitudes on vocations to the priesthood and religious life. It occurred to me today that I may have been missing a strong point by not having mentioned the attitude of my own parents regarding my decision to enter the seminary. I think it represents exactly what I hope this column would achieve or point to in terms of parent’s reaction to a son or daughter saying they wanted to become a priest or sister.

When I was a senior at Marist (in those days it was located next to Sacred Heart Church) I was somewhat confused as to what I wanted to do with my life. I applied to Georgia Tech, was accepted and just had to pick up my books for my courses in Industrial Engineering. Then a friend of mind told me I ought to think about being a priest. That sufficiently stirred up my confusions to the point of asking my folks if I could go off to school, so I could sort of get things together. Although I had a partial scholarship and worked on a construction job during the summer, it meant considerable financial sacrifice for them. Nevertheless, they agreed and so I went to Belmont Abbey College as a freshman. It turned out to be my best move.

When I finished that year, I was pretty clear that I wanted to try the seminary. I finally told my folks and their reaction was what I had always come to expect from them – understanding, support and concern for my happiness. No one in my family history had ever wanted to do that kind of thing before. For my father, a convert, it meant that his family name died with him; no son would carry it on. Despite these feelings and the confusions they must have experienced when I finally entered Saint Bernard Seminary in Cullman, Ala., they were always there – right behind me. I cannot assume that they always understood why I was doing what I was doing, but I know they tried. That had been characteristic of them though – we had spent many late hours around our kitchen table thrashing things out during my high school days.

My parents are not all that unusual. You and yours probably had similar experiences. I mention this because the qualities in them that meant so much to me as I was making up my mind are not unusual qualities.

Chiefly they convinced me that they believed in me, had confidence in me, trusted my judgment, were willing to risk this with me. They underlined their love for me and made it clear they’d be proud of me no matter what I chose to do, and that choosing to be a priest would make them happy because they valued the priests in their own personal history. With that kind of support, I was a lot more at ease with the essential ingredients of my decision to be a priest, namely whether I really wanted to be one and whether I really could be one.

I said earlier that my parents are not all that unusual. That’s not exactly true. They have done ordinary things extraordinarily well, I look back on the “days of deciding” that preceded my entry into the seminary and see that I was very fortunate in the support they gave me. Today I am even more aware of it than ever.

As you read this my parents are probably reading it too. They celebrate their 36^th anniversary this month and my hope would be to live my life as a priest giving to others as much love, understanding, hope and confidence as they gave to me while I was trying to decide what to do with my life.