The first Cana Conference to be held in the Atlanta area in recent years drew approximately 350 people from metropolitan Atlanta and Athens last Sunday afternoon. Married people of all ages, backgrounds and states of life heard Rev. John O’Sullivan, Ph.D., declare: “You, with just what you have, can be the happiest married couple in a place the size of a large housing development. God wants you to be happy in your marriage; follow His plan for you and you need never be lonely.” Fr. O’Sullivan’s talks dealt with three basic thoughts: marriage, men and women. He touched briefly on many essential ideas which, it is hoped, can be more closely studied in succeeding conferences. In his discussion of marriage, he emphasized that marriage is the only way of life in which one finds life’s greatest treasure: “the undivided love of another person.” It is only when there are “dead areas” in communication between partners that trouble begins. He stressed the six areas in which agreement is necessary for the happiest marriages; money, religion, in-laws, sex, children, and social goals. As each couple works out, in a spirit of generosity, answers to these facets of life they discover a closeness which sustains them through good times and bad. All marriages failures can be traced directly to an excessive desire for power or affect tearing down the whole relationship.

“A man’s desire for power over his wife can wreck his marriage,” Fr. O’Sullivan said. Women are basically insecure and each one needs from her husband a continuing show of support, esteem and leadership. She has a right to expect these things from her husband, he stated, for God made her personality the way it is. From marriage both man and woman want the same things; affection, acceptance and assurance. Men tend to think on a rational, overall level and a wife must not expect her husband to have a woman’s mental characteristics but must love and respect him as he is.

“Women are purely emotional; they don’t think rationally,” says the typical husband. The female mind, attuned to life’s small details and the unconditional love of her family is best suited to the care of the children and household. She deals with life, and battles death daily as she rears her young. The young woman is almost frightening in her generous expenditure of herself. Beginning the day already tired, she may end it almost in a state of shock. Many jobs are such that the young man rarely becomes really tired at work while his young wife becomes increasingly exhausted and frightened. Together they must learn to share the Cross in married life. They will find that “happiness is unregretted pleasure” -- found in doing well what one ought.

“At any age, a marriage must be maintained as carefully as the priesthood. To partners who work at their marriage, God constantly discloses more of the fullness of His love. Love is expressed in many ways; sex is one but not the most important one. The rarest experiences of a lifetime is when we meet another person whose love will liberate the prisoner (our best) within us.”

Refreshments were served at the three breaks in the afternoon’s session, giving those attending time to meet informally. Personal questions were answered late in the afternoon and the conference ended in Immaculate Heart of Mary Church as the couples renewed their marriage vows in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.

Before leaving, many couples sought out Fr. O’Sullivan to express to him their appreciation for giving them a new look at their lives. Immaculate Heart of Mary’s C.F.M. groups are especially grateful to their pastor, Msgr. Regan, whose efforts made their hopes and plans a reality.